Journal de la vie extraordinaire

I want to go back to the days when my sleep was tight and I smile a genuine smile.
Why is this so difficult, I never seem to be able to get you out of me.
And you're not to blame baby, because I was the one who pushed you away.

I keep telling myself, that day will come, the day when my heart doesn't cringe everytime I see your smile, when all I know was, we spent some great time together.
How ironical, good memories are the ones that bring me pain and hurt.
I'm so tired, so tired of pretending that I'm fine.
I'm not used to not having you in my life.
I want this to be over soon.
I want this overwhelming emotion to go far far away, that I don't have to force a smile everytime our eyes met, that I still can tell you how much I adore your smile.

I don't know if you do feel the same way but for me it happens all the time.
There are so many excitement I want to share with you, so much I want to talk about with you.
Why does this got to be so hard and painful to go through?

I don't know anymore.
I miss how we used to be.

I used to feel so excited about life, looking forward to each day, because I knew even if I fail, I got you to fall back on, because you're my pillar of strength and you deal with my emotion so aptly.

What's there to be hyped about now?