haiyoo.lala.its 6.45 more hours to 2008. i feel fucked up

put your hands off ass

hi i am at mel's. and choosing outfit for melissa. and listening at 'shut up and drive-rihanna' hahah very funny. im counting down with dione. yes,only both of us and so sad.yes.so pathetic. :(

PS: but your hands off my boy.

show me some love. if you know what i mean.

i reached Singapore just now and now im feeling kinda tired. why not? after i reached my hostel, i packed my goddamnhell alot stuffs into my wardrobe and not even taking a short breath, Mel called me and said she was at the lobby waiting for me. so i went down and brought her up and yeah we chatted and she saw what i have shopped.

i bought numerous T-shirts and handful of jeans. not forgetting purse and sling bag. i bought tons of DVDs and an adidas shoes. i bought dresses and stockings. in the end, i must carry whatever i bought myself and my luggage was bloodyxtra heavy it was like 30gazabibillionxzxzxzxz kg. HAHA maybe its abit]exaggerating. okay not abit, but alot. :]

after looking at my 'shopped stuffs',we went orchard and walked ard to find presents. and in the end mel bought a wallet for d and we bought a shirt for j. i still havent found anything for h.as for c, i bought a ****** case.

we bought sushi and ate it outside Taka. after that home was the last destination im looking forward.

PS: i love you

thanks god its saturday night!
this sentence will be said every time satuday arrives.
but i dont feel like saying this sentence.
cz this is the last saturday im going to be here. i dont want.

tmr i'll be going back to sg.
what it means?
it means school is starting and i will soon feel the struggle.
i hate school. but i miss it. :)

you know, two months here, i dont miss Singapore.
(i say singapore.not you :))
i love the atmosphere here. not singapore's
i just love Medan so much that i wanna bring it along with me.
maybe this is what people say, there's nowhere better than home.

oh yeah ytd i went to watch The Warlords.
quite exciting but there were lots of killing
so for me its kinda disgusting. my god
my brother slept through the movie. funny kid.

ookay shall stop now.
omgomgomg i havent packed my things.!

PS: im blue

i dono what happen to mommy today but she told me that we're going to cinema later at night HAHA. you know this 14++ years i live,she never go to cinema with me and this time, with my father who admit that he never go into the studio for his entire life. HAHA damn funny i feel weird.

its 2 days and im back to sing. my family is planning for a brastagi trip and i cant go. aiyo i dont feel like blogging. shall stop noww. byee :D

semenjak ada dirimu,
dunia terasa indahnya,
semenjak kau ada disini
tak ingin melepaskanmu.

since you are here,
the beauty of the world can be felt
since you are here,
dont wanna let you go

i think im in love with that song Semenjak Ada Dirimu and then, Sempurna, Cinta Dalam Hati, Cinta, I'm Fallin in Love, Butterfly, Biarlah, 11 Januari and many many more.

i haven't buy any xmas gift for Singapore friends and i rly have no idea. but i will get it done soon.by the time i reach Changi, its in my luggage. you know i bought so much that i must packed it in a box. which means i have xtra things to carry.

but im so happy that God sends me this two people, cat and sausage, maybe to help me carry the things. HAHA kidding. <3

i love you.
aku cinta kamu.
aishiteru
je t'aime
wo ai ni.

maybe young cute kids,even teenagers believe that santa claus can fulfill everything that you want.
but i just realised that he has sonthing that he cant fulfill for sure.
that is, making someone return from their death.
noone can make someone dead breaths again,including sinterklaus
maybe only god.

i still think that it was a dream.yeah it was.but now it travelled to the real life. im so xtremely sad.i thought i dont want to share this out,but joshua told me that,maybe if i shared,i will feel better.grandma was the great woman that can bring up her 10 kids with blood, tears, perspiration without asking for pay a single cent.she is kindhearted,warm,lovely,and sometimes funny.she always cares her sons,daughters,grandsons/daughters.she always worried me when i took the plane to Singapore,she called thousand times just to make sure im fine.she can sing all her hokkien songs when she is bored.she was crying for her bitter life, that she never feel pleased,with pain in her whole body,the only thing that make her stronger,was to see her generation become a successful,great and big-hearted person. she has a will to life. she fought all her pains,diseases with all the strength she could.and when i visited her,she would say that she is happy and she loves me. even till the last moment i saw her,which i remembered so clearly,she kissed my hand and told me that she loved me very much. i will never forget her last sentence for my entire life.

now,we dont have someone so great anymore.everyone feels vry lost.we cant listen she sang her hokkien songs anymore, and listen to her stories.even though she is blind, she tells us that, 'maybe i cant see you with my eyes,but you are so clearly pictured in my heart'. i dont know,i felt so regret,why dont i show more love and till her last moment, i wasnt there with her. that moment,when my mother told me that she has gone,i whispered to myself, 'grandma, may you be more happy there and candies loves you.' now she has gone, she doesnt need to feel all the pains,cried for her bitter life,and fought tiringly for all the diseases. i hope you will live a better life there.

im still sad but what i do? everyone will die someday.we just dont know when. so,when he/she is still here, please treasure your time together and love he/she before its too late. dont regret like what i do. even though i cant hear she say she loves me anymore, but her love will always stay in my heart. always.

grandma, selamat jalan.

I WISH YOU A MERRY WILD CHRISTMAS! :D

take a look at it! im typing it for you and appreciate it! cz it takes xtra effort to create it. :D

its weeks since i last blogged.
lots of things happened.
whether its planned or unplanned.

im kinda erm not, very sad.
bcz i lost someone that i love so much.
i suggest you love and appreciate your loved ones or else when they are gone,
you will feel very regretful :[

maybe i didnt spend that much time with you.
and i never express my love for you.
but i will tell you that i love you although i never realise it.
may you have a better life there.
guide me along in the other way your world permits.
i love you, grandma. :)

okay i love santa claus so much.
he gave me a soft toy HEHE :]
when i walked ard SUN plaza, suddenly he put sth on my palm.
sth very big packed in a green box with red ribbon.
and when i opened it, it was a santa claus soft toy :]

i miss lacro oh lacro send me an elephant please
cz mandy cant do so. HEEHEE C:

people i want to learn how to drive
mum doesnt want to teach me.
and i begged my cousin for milleniums,
but he doesnt want to teach me SO SAD D:
btw, we bond closer now :P

okaay laah huh shall go now.
im sick and i need to punch someone.
pangsai.

omg lisa mellisa eheh.. you make me laugh until i fell of my chair okayy. haha she says the phillipino idol Mau Marcello stole her name cz she is mau. omgomg mamamia my Daniel vry cute. i've got three future husband. Hadi Mirza, the Rivermaya molly guy, and my Daniel im vario,what abt you? HAHA mamamiaa.

Selamat Berbahagia kepada sepang mempelai.
Candies Sutanto & ???

" santa claus is coming to town! "

i love you santa

cz you sent me what i wishh and yeah im happy.

and don't be suprised if someone knocks your door in the middle of the night, cz i asked santa to give you a xmas gift

and once agn thanks cz i met someone i have been dying to meet so much.

but sth else disappoints me ow.

the stars are filling the sky beautiful tonight. just like how my mind is filled by you

and i've got an old pair of socks contained a xmas greeting card in the coconut island.

PS : it is rly unbelieveable

i'll be posting up my xmas lists here
gonna be more or less, tons of it yeah :D

1. i want want the m]phosis dress okay.
2. still m]phosis. but now the slippers.
3. i want that Roxy camp bag. pink and black YEAH.
4. of course a very big big big xmas tree in front of my bedroom door. (like u used to do)
5. i want the pair of old socks from santa. cz it usually contains lots of sweets/
6. the love shaped long necklace with glitters in it.
7. the I LOVE PARIS shirt i saw ohohohoh.
8. more and more DVDs with good quality.
9. the flowery ring i saw at Ubud.
10. and of course a hug from someone i want

dy man dy dy....
please tell me why you are pissed okay.

cz i am pissed also. cz junia told me that she bought alot at Jakarta.
you know how i wished i went there.
unfortunately, the tickets was fully booked.
and i feel rather soory for Monica D:

PS i rly hope something good can happen to grandma.
santa i dont want all the above list. i just want grandma to get well soon.

HI OMG OMG i am so so so so happy todaaaayyy
i went shopping OMG so shiokk i love shopping man..
i bought 3 tees from Fashion Outlet
then one dress from erm Gudang Stock.
its black colour and not to expensive
well,at least it doesnt make my wallet brokee HEE :]

you know what?
i cooked myself you know.
for both breakfast and lunch.
i feel so girly. cz i never cooked before/.
except for instant noodles HAHA :D

im not going to eat dinner laterh.
cz i ate too much just now.
wow lets see what i've eaten today. only today
instant noodles, chickenballs soup, choco milkshake+ice cream,and satay.

i am rly expanding in size
and i think i shall rly register for Marie France Bodyline.
although im not sure whether it works.

eheh i have finished the song i composed.
but just the lyrics without notes.
i dont know how i want the song to sound like.
lets think abt it later lah huh.
i'll post up the lyrics maybe next time okay

shall go :]
bye i love you madu. */

hello people anita is coming over so im happy now.
she comes cz i complained that im all over emo agn.
so she will b here to confide me. such a gd friend huh.
HAHA i guess so.

HOHO i got mommy's card back and she says i an shop.
just that i must control the amount.
she is back to the gd side.
she used to annoy me so much HAHA thats what all mommys behave like.
sometimes that can be your gd friends but they can be a dictator too.
(only if their monthly guest comes HAHA)

huh you know just now when i was having the fcking amaths tuition,
suddenly i feel so sad and i feel like commiting suicide HAHA
i dont know why also but yeah you know its cz of someone.
this kind of disease only can be recovered by shopping damnhell alot.

i read a book discussing abt where people goes after they die.
its really scary and i feel so afraid to die.
i mean you will go to hell and face whatever punishments given.
thats what they say,

if we conducted guilts during our lifetime, all the kindof ghosts will punished us.
isnt what we do and what happen was fated?
isnt God the one who control it all?
so he is the one planning that we will do some guilt?
so there is this word 'destiny'?

like,
son, you are destined to be in jail.
HAHA i heard someone says that
this world is a stage and the people are merely the player.

so who is the scenario writer?
it must be God, isnt it?
so indirectly saying, God destined us to do sin, make decision and all.
yeah if we are scientifically saying,
the main brain asks ask to do all, but when we come to religious?
everything is connected to God

if he taught us not to conduct guilt?
then why people are saying, this is planned by God

i rly dont understand this concept.
and i also rly dont know why i am talking abt this.
can somebody just tell me?
Beatles.

everything i do reminds me of you

HELLO world!
i've got a hole on my right foot now so sad! :C
so disgusting you know imagine a holey footey HAHA :]

and i bought alot of DVDs today! HAHA yes yes im so happy (11)
they are:

gossip girl 1a-1d - you're nobody until you talked about Gossip Girl
just my luck -everything can change in the wink of an eye
because i said so - she's just an overprotective mother
Lincense to WED - first came love, then came RF
No Reservations - Life isnt always made to order
Love and other disasters - you always think you're the first one
the VALET - a refreshingly good time!
RATATOUILLE - oh ima cute rat

im bought a xmas hat so cuteee :D
then a paper snoopy wallet HEEHEE
im sooper brokeee now yeah so sad :E

im composing a song lyrics.
its halfway alrr but my brain is still stuck and i cant think
its like my story lah but i dont know how to place all the notes
its just nicely done lyrics without notes ;]

ohhohh i saw a wedding gown damn long i think got abt 1 metre
vry nice ohh i feel like wearing HAHA
i cant stop this urge to have a wedding soon yaw.
i think im like madly in marrying YO

&&& i dont want to go back to sg so soon.!
monicaa dont forget my orderss!muahh

PS: i just can't explain this feeling :C

" oh and i hate that guy. whoever he is,but he makes me feel annoyed."

PS: please understand. this girl here is,well, in love

my right foot hurt alot! :C
i went to electrice my foot or whatever it calls cz it has something so painful
so i screamed damn loud and cried HAHA

&&& i dont know how im goin to watch movie tmr :
i hope i can walkkk *
employee of the month, here i come!

mandy teoyibin can i know have you come back from thai?
the beautiful THAI? (you know what i mean)
btww, dont forget my elephant.

ohoh i knew sth abt sth and the sth is so shocking.
you know?
cheeks burning,stop breathing,heart pumps very fast and etcccc
are they the shine of love?? HUAHAHA

okay lah okay
im so lazy to type nowwww
so stop bloggin now BYEBYE

" happy 17th birthday Mr. Raymond Suryaa! "

i hate wedding party/dinner/ceremony/whatever!
it makes me feel like getting married soon!
when i see the loving couple walking on the red carpet,
i imagined myself walking there instead.of course with someone i love so much.
im pretty much sure that i rly want to get married :]

i went to wedding dinner.
its my neighbour's.
i drank galloonss of Cokey Pokeyy.!
crunched alottsaa iceey!
&&& i went to toilet alotsa time too!
pictures are to be uploaded real soon kayyyy

friends, hehee if you get married next time,please ask my favour to help you :)
be it bridesmaid,guest receiver,or the MC also cannn
hehehehhehehe like that i feel so needed. :]

im borrowing the License To Wed from Eric cz the cinema is showing so latelyy.
its a midnight show and im sure mommy wont allow me to watch.
ohohohoh i havent do my HW but heckcareeee!!!!!

my cheeks are burning and its so hot now.
and btw i changed my phonyy.
its a touchscreen phone and its kinda biggg.

PS: love is blind

hello readers its 8.29 pm here and its 25degree celcius so shiokk!
mommy is teaching my lil bro and its kinda noisy.
&&& candies sutanto is just getting weirder and weirder.

ehm. i get so emo these days.
not these days, but it has been long.
i get so excited suddenly for sth i dont need to,
and i keep on thinking that everyone dislikes me and don't care how i feel.
i feel like a loser. just for you to know.

i transformed into somebody so unlike me.
like the cloned candies.
now i always assume that the past was so beautiful
and the future seems so uncertain for me.
i cried. for those who know me inside out, you know i aint that strong.
for no reason or unreasonable thingss.

now,im not more so enthusiast when someone ask me out.
i cant feel the butterflies inside my stomach when i see him
they are like dead now.

more of it,
noone picks up my call and noone replies my messages,
which make me feel more like a loser and hated. :(

srsly,i dont know why this feeling strikes me
but yeah since that incident, i feel its true. its right.

1020% sad :((

i dont know why. when i see that piece of picture,i feel suddenly tearful. i thought that feeling isn't inside here anymore, but i was wrong. i can't breathe! plase help me. i want an oxygen tank. :( :[ and i just know ytd. i rly rly need to accept this fact. candies, calm down! that isn't yours and you dont need to be angry when somebody has it. okay.

" kenapa seh gw harus selalu sakit hati kek gini? "

btw congrats Diana for being a Macphersonian soon. :)

rly no mood today i need a hug*

and oh to add more of my sadness. monica johan my love isn't coming cz my beloved ohsobeautiful airport was attacked my the fireeee! hot red thick fire. and im not sure whether i can go back to sg on time. :[

PS: sherley i need ur help.

i went shopping with sherlyy just now.
bought hanakimi disc,a superman shirt and a words printed shirt.
im very happy

im watching mamamia super seleb show and its like so funny
oh yaaaa just now i also went for facial.
goddamn shiok but then they pressed all my pimples.
and it hurts! till noww. :[

monica the ice cream is coming till mon. YAY!!
haha im vry happy.
going out with her tmr.

the Indo Idol result show is at 20.00 and
im supporting Delon for suree.
Koko Delonnn *ih jijayy*

thx friend for the sweet birthday present.
even its like so late, but you still care to give me
and i think a mp3 is a bit too much :D

" terima kasih kau telah mengajarkanku arti kebersamaan hidup ini,sahabat! "