the bitch is back

Maybe you can say i'm a spoilt ass and idk how to appreciate my life because you think i've got everything that you would ever dream of. Hey stop saying that because as much as i think you're trying hard to make me feel better, you made me feel a lot worse. Idk what came to me but i just felt that, in fifteen years of my living, or rather, going to be 16 soon, i have not do anything magnificent to be proud of, to be commented, 'Her parents are so lucky to have a daughter like her'. Never. Maybe its good to be easily satisfied in a way, but i think i always don't try hard enough.

I have no idea how to bring this across but, when i have throngs people surround me, i turned out to feel alone. When i laughed so loud that somebody can imitate me right away, i felt so dejected.

I know you told me i'm lucky and i should be grateful for what i have. I am. But i want something commendable, something extraordinary in my life. Not just the monotonous usual life, with disgusting grades and never-ending pathetic love story. When i mean i want achievements, i don't mean it academically. Of course i want excel in my studies, but there's something more in life than just academy. Oh no. I am really spoilt.

I want to be able to look at everything from the brighter side. I want to be more responsible, more reliable and dependable. I want to be more understanding, more appreciative. I want to be able to put myself into someone's shoes before judging that person.

Thanks for reading. I hope you guys reflect too. We have to keep reflecting in order to improve, right? :) Oh my i sound like a physiatrist.

She's so lucky

She's a star

But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart

Thinking, if there's nothing missing in my life

Then why do these tears come at night?

Except, i'm not even close to a star.