Till the end of the time,

Brenda just called me boss. Haahaha

Candies. says (7:56 PM):
why you not out?
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (7:56 PM):
at my grandma's place boss. HAHAH

She's so cute i think i miss her. Please dont tell her if not, wah jialat. I think Stef, Agnes and Frerry have this ties. They are coming back on the 4th. All together! Haha okay fine i'm so jealous but yes. But its okay I'm coming back early cz i can meet the girls sooner and Mom's still here.

Went to PS to meet MMDH haha. Omg its gonna be New Year soon. I was half-hoping i can spend NY with pepper but funny heh i'm so naive. Nobody is online now so i guess everybody has a plan for countdown.

Okay why am i still at home i should go and bathe now. bye.

When nights were clear, you're the first star that i'd see

you so cute

Messages are private.
And I never consent anyone to view my messages.
So you know you are crossing the line.

I changed my blogskin and i cant find a nice onee
so i put this blogskin heh I'm so angry.
I sprained my neck, my ankle hurts so badly.

And Sherly is on the plane to Japan; good life huh.
I'm so curious. Why was the colorful one has to be painted black and white over.
Okay you may nawt understand but I'm trying so hard here.

Have you figured out what that letters mean?
The answer is my title.

I miss Quek Huei Min and pepper
I feel like slapping pepper.

There are so many things that i want you to know

All Out Of Love-Air Supply

I am lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too
but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

CHORUS
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say thatI was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights'
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh, so right

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on?
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day

Please love me or I'll be gone,
I'll be goneI'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Ooh, what are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
what are you thinking of I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you

I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong



I need to jot down my list soon. Many lists. Homework lists, time lists, arrival lists (; , shopping lists, and yeah many more.

Mom's going back on 1st Jan I'm so sadd. So-o sad. Time flies so fast. I hope time passes slower. Amen.

Please stop acting as if I'm begging you okay. It's annoying. And don't be too confident. You're not the best anymore, to me. I just got sick of you after everything.

You dumb, egoistic, used-to-be-cute idiot.

Be Strong, Lady

Iam sleeping on the bed talking to Mom.
We talked about grandma

My grandma was a stong woman
I'm going to be like her.
Be a strong woman.

Monkeys i'm back and i'm in Sg now.
Today was packing day and i'm all tired and dehydrated.
Bye owh

paracetamol

Hey people. I'm spending my few last hours in Medan you know, i'm damn sad. Good things Mom's going with me or else i'll be crying river of blood heehee. That'll be good because Edward will come and drink my blood, i'll get to see him! Haha okay. Mandy is stupid. Haha okay. Joking mantou.

I miss Jamie. As in the chopstick jamie. Heheh i will paint my nail hot red and shocking pink so she'll catch me and i can hug her(!!). pepper would laugh everytime i talk abt jamie. okay crap go away. haha

I envy everyone like Stef, Agnes, Sherly, Jess and etc who are going back to Sg only on 4th of Jan. Means yeah damn great :( A few more days to NY. When the clock strikes from 11.59.59 to 12.00.00 in 31st December, i hope i automatically become amnesia about pepper. So yes, bye

PS: im so sad :(

White pepper

Why did you sleep so early nowadays?
Can't things stay the same as how it used to be?

I really really really really miss the old you.
If you still aren't convinced, then idk what to do.

you dumb egoistic idiot

I
FEEL
LIKE
SLAPPING
YOU
.
Omg just go and die okay, pepper.

head over heels over head

I'm lonely. Brothers are away to Jakarta. I'm alone with Mom and Dad.
2 more days and i'm saying goodbye to Medan.
So fast, huh. How time flies. It's going to be 2009.

Tell you what, i miss pepper.
Sorry if i keep mentioning about this i-miss-you-pepper thingy
but really, where is pepper. I mean the old pepper.
The sometimes retarded but nice pepper.
Pepper. Pepper. Pepper. Pepper.
Ah you are like shit, but i still miss you.

If only i have longer holiday.
Good things i'm not staying in that same room anymore.
Or else memories won't fade.
Aiyah what i'm saying. Everything's gonna be alright.

christmas merry

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!
HI.
went out again ytd.
Haha did shopping again.
(hope Mom won't scream when the bills come)

Hey pepper.
How are you nowadays?
Its been quite awhile, huh.
Merry Christmas to you.
I still miss you. Still alot.

I woke up this morning, found quite a number of wishes,
but none was from you.

Where are you? Are you in church now?

Fanpire :)

"You're impossible," he said, and laughed once--a hard laugh, frusated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here and i love you. I have always love you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that i was away. When i told you that i didn't want you, that was the blackest knd of blasphemy."
Edward Cullen, New Moon.

About three things i was absolutely positive about;
First, Edward is a vampire
Second, there was part of him, i didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thristed for my blood.
and Third, I'm unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
Bella Swan, Twilight

If there were any way for me to become human for you, no matter what the price was, i would pay it.
Edward Cullen, Twilight

I don't want to hear that you feel that way. It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella - please, grasp that.
Edward Cullen, Twilight

I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that! As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off.
Edward Cullen

Sometimes it seems like you're trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else.
Bella Swan

My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him.
Bella Swan

I was that boy, who would have gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse

The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an eclipse.
Jacob Black, Eclipse

Kill the mocking birds,

I'mz soz sleepyz nowz yeahz i'mz dyingz canz youz imaginez typingz withz myz eyez halfz closedz? Hahaha. Okay i forced my eyes open (i typed eyes as heart just now)

Anw, Junia came and curled my hair. We both agreed that i looked like Medusa. went out with her,, did xmas shopping. Ate @ Sunday Cafe. The atmosphere was romantic. I could sense that she'd rather spend her time with her to-be boyfriend. Haha she's so cute. One more last meeting w/ her. I'm so sad. Life's better w/ her and the shopping. :D (i haven't get her anything y'know) Sorry Jun D:

Bought cake for Mom as ytd was Mother's Day. She was so happy and i felt so, so good. Being such a demanding daughter since the day i was born (now i rmb born don't come with -ed) and not such a proud for her, only these small things could make her so happy. I doubt i can be such a loving mother next time.

I also bought my brother a wallet since his bday is coming. Coolz walletz. Ripcurl. Hope that he'll

like it. I have yet to buy someone's gift. I have no idea what to get for that monkey.

Just came back from dinner. @ Wisma Benteng. So filling. Yum yum (haha agnes) Rmb the yum yum thing? We rolled on the floor laughing over that matter. Then i told Dad something that made him spilled his beer.

Me: Dad, when i get married i want to marry here (in Benteng).

Ykw, saw Kelvin Tionardi on Sunday. Heehee reminded me of Tukul.

Then what else, urm. Yes, i want to get married. Hahahaha Junia said when she got married, i'll be the bridesmaid. Then i say when i got married, her daughter will be my flower girl. :) such an early plan. Its still many years ahead.

I seriously think i've missed so much about mandy dione mel and hueimin. Like, i haven't been talking to them for ages. I miss you guys eh. My pepper consultant. My mrs pig. My stripey wife. My retarded tuition mate. Gawhawraw i'm going to see them soon.

Sometimes if you ask me which place i prefer, i really can't choose. Like, when i'm in Sg, then i'm going back to Medan, i'll keep groaning and say i don't want to go back. But when I'm in Medan and like now, going back to Sg, i'll say i don't feel like going back. Because seeing someone means missing the other one. Furthermore, there's really nothing awaits me there, unlike what i thought couple of months before. That's fat hope, uh.

AND TO WHOEVER IS SAD NOW, AND FEEL DEMORALIZED, OR HEART-TORN, OR TEARFUL, OR FRUSTATED, NO MATTER WHAT, DON'T BE! BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORTH IT. YOUR WORRIES YOUR CRY YOUR TIME YOUR ENERGY YOUR MIND YOUR CONCENTRATION. APOLOGIZE IF YOU THINK YOU'RE WRONG. IGNORE IF YOU THINK ITS IRRITATING. AND HECK CARE IF ITS HURTFUL!

I'm surprised i have such a patience to wait til all the photos are uploaded. *claps*

PS: the one in blue is edited.

PS2: i miss you eh.

PS3: my phone is three days old and it already has scratches.

PS4: whatthehell i'm in love with the driving guy heh heh.

PS5: i have yet to pack my luggage

PS6: imagine life without love. argh

PS7: PS6 is currently my msn pm
PS8: don't you think i'm a lil bet retarded?

surga ada di telapak kaki ibu

HAPPY

MOTHER'S

DAY!!

To Mommy and Moms all around Indonesia.

Mommy i love you.
Don't need to say, i know how much you love your children.

I've got the best Mom in the world. I can't ask for more.

Hocus Pocus Locus

Soooooooo, life has been pretty good nowadays. Yeah this weekend maybe can be considered the best weekend throughtout my stay here. Well, actually i can't compare it that way.

I've got my Blackberry curve yesterday, yes i'm over the mars. Haha i finally got it i feel so blessed. Then went out with Christine and her friend (sorry i forget your name) and we went around 'hunting' for stuffs. Then went home and came back again at around 9pm, it was sooper crowded. SUPER. Like, i've never seen SUN that crowded before. So so so many people. Sherly was stucked at the parking lot for a damn two hours.

Haha everyone felt so cheated cz it wasn't exactly 80%, only 20-30%, some 40%. But i don't feel so because i bought sooo many things and i'm so happy. Some shops even had to closed its door and people have to wait for the queue to go in. Wth, its not like they are giving away their clothes free. You still have to pay. Okay cut the crap.
Bottom line ; I'm satisfied :DDD

I watched a documentary just now. Well its not really documentary, but its filming this really poor family, they sell honey. For three months, they earned less then 15bucks. Its really heart-wrenching. I felt so doleful, and i wished, if only i can contribute some of my privileges for them so that they can live a better life.

It made me think, i live such a privileged life, and even sometimes i still can mourn for more. I thought i need more pocket money. I thought i need to buy more things to satisfy my wants. Then i realised i'm such a selfish person. I'm never satisfied with all i have, and yet there are so many people out there, fighting with time, with hunger, with thrist, just so they can see the sun rise the next day.

I was disgusted by them, doing dirty and tiring work. Little did i know, they're choiceless. No one wants to live that way. Everyone wants to enjoy life, but i complained about how cruel life is to me. Life is cruel to them. They should be the one complaining. I have such a narrow heart.

Glad i watched that documentary and glad that i opened my eyes.

Laugh like a chipmunk

You can always talk to me.

Thank you B haha yes, you're right i still have my friends.
Its not the end yet, :)
I felt good talking to you. Good be big-headed
but you're an understanding friend.
Thank you for your willingness listening to my long and endless thoughts.

I'm so hardworking yesterday idk whats up with myself.
I did holiday homework and it was my first time touching my homeworks.
I slept at 3am doing them and its still incomplete.

Btwbtwbtw, Sherly said that, Sun is having a big BIG BIG sale tmr.
The wholeeeeeee MALL is on 80% discount.
But its a midnight sale so it kinda from 9-12pm.
I'm going there in the afternoon to do hunting first, then i'll grab them at night.
Good plan, huh.

Bye

oxymoron

Oh freak. You're getting weirder each freaking day.
But still, i miss you

When circumstance gets a lil bit tense

I have to speed up my typing because my brother wants to use the computer and in any seconds, he will just scream at me!

Hahaha okay. Met Junia just now and oh yeah! I've passed the driving lesson! And i'm able to drive now YAY but no license aka, SAME SAME! :D I'm moving to Stef's and Frerry's hostel Hahaha but (!!) yaya i've to tell olivia this. SOON. Bet she'll scream and curse.

One more thing, I'm getting my Blackberry tomorrow i'm so happy Dad finally allowed. Ohmygod i'm ecstatic. Overjoyed. Euphoric. Whatever.

I
am
so
happy
that
i
can
just
kiss
anyone's
backside!
HAHA

PS/ I miss you.

Because you are my pillar of strength

Ha ha ha ha. Everything went wrong ytd.
But it was really out of my control, and i am deeply sorry for that.
I'm sorry i'm such a mess.
I don't deserve this. Why can't you be angry? Please.
It aches to just think of you, so unselfish. Unlike me.
I promise i won't do it again, and yes, promise.

I finished reading Eclipse. I feel accomplished.
Everything is screwed apart from that.
I think only reading makes me forget everything.
Oh God, i need a break.
I was about to wish God turned me into a bird but i realised its a silly thought.

When December is the month, everybody should be happy w/ themselves
and people can't wait for the year exchange. Well, me too. Or at least i think i am.
"You fall, so you can learn how to stand"
That'd be my motivation sentence from now on.

I'm so sorry i have been blogging dully, boringly, and mellow-ly.
I just have nowhere else to pour. I can't talk to anyone.
Because everyone just feels so far away from me,
no matter how hard i try to catch up, i can't reach them.

ARGH ARGH ARGH because of one freaking person, my life's so ruined.
(damn, will you just stop screaming!)
My defence is about to fall.

Life goes on, young lady.

I had my driving lesson just now and its still as disastrous. I wasn't concentrating at all, and i almost crashed onto a sports car. Idk how much i'd be asked to pay if i didn't stop the car immediately. And soon after, i almost drove the car onto the pedestrian walk.

Idk what's going on with me from ytd. Grr, and my day just went by like that. Maybe going out with Junia on Thrusday. Both of us didn't sound as enthuastic as we should. I need to run upstairs now, to the rooftop and scream. I think my head and just explode anytime soon. D:

I suddenly don't feel like blogging anymore cz i can't see my typing clearly alrd. Till then,

:(

I FEEL SO DEMORALIZED

I wake up super early today whats wrongg

Apparently i can't see my keyboard now cz its dark and i'm not using laptop so im guessing all the alphabets, forgive me if i mispell any word hoh. Hehehe.

I surprisingly woke up early today. Its only ten now, haha and i can hear Mom screaming downstairs cz she's busy preparing for Don's bday party. (Junia you better make it here or hehe you'll see)

Good news; i found my camera charger which i thought was lost hehe. I'm so happy.
Mom's room is like Doreemon's pocket. I always find my missing stuffs here. :)))))))
I think i'm suffering from obssessive packing disorder.
I packed all my clothes and put em in the luggage, then feeling unsatisfied, i took them out again and placed them in the wardrobe again. And today i wake up so early. Idk whats wrong with me. Told ya my brain works funnily weirdly and unexpectedly today.

I suddenly remembered smth and i suddenly dont feel like blogging. bye

When the clock stops ticking somehow. Its just the both of us.

WASSUP i'm super full right now. Hahahaha i rmb my msn icon for super is like so cute.
And 'heehee'. It looks like me, in some way haha.

Yoyo. (this one is irritating haha)
Idk what's wrong with my brain today its just weird, the way i think today.

So, went out with Junia today again.
And i bought that dress! The dress i talked about ytd. I'm so happy i can jump around the estate and everyone will laugh @ me. Then before that we had brunch @ Seoul Garden. Who say Seoul Garden is shitty. Slap whoever said that. But i heard someone sitting over at next table said something like, "People say Medan's Seoul Garden is better than Singapore's." Then i automatically responded, "True..True.." Haha i feel like laughing at myself, how i suddenly interrupt their conversation.

I forgot the rest of the time, what we did. Simply walking around, and since she didn't have the mood to shop today, she only bought cute clips. They are damn cute, there was one froggy clip, which reminded me of Pearly Lim. Hahahaha. Okay.

This www.blockingyou.com thingy keeps popping out. I feel like eating them up.
Pop up again. There are five.

I found my camera finally finally i'm so happy. Haha i miss MJ and NMC and AS walao. So long liaozz never see them. But i dont feel like going back to Sg leh. How? The time will eventually come la. So i'm just enjoying my time here, while i can. I don't want to remind myself that i'll face piles of books next year :(((

I have zero rupiah right now. Absolutely no money. I'm so broke. I'm so dead. I just withdrew ytd i can't withdraw again rightzzz Mom's super strict when it comes to my spending, esp here. How? I have yet to buy that gorgeous overknee socks. Haizz. I know it can't be gorgeous any further but its still gorgeous okayokayokay... I'm dreaming of it can you imagine.

This is why i hate to update photos. Because its suuuuuuuuuuper slow here. Its getting on my nerves. Nobody is online. I feel like dying. But its okay. I'm crapping right now cz i'm waiting for the photos to upload. Btw, my facebook is accessible now. :)

Thankyou for the care.
The care anyone would willingly die for.

Redox Detox Pemox Haah

I want to fart so much now okay but i'm trying hard to stop it from coming out or else Mom can jus faint. Haahaha because i farted once and she couldn't stop screaming at me. -.-

I just realised i don't have my archives here so sad hoh. Actually i wanted to review my previous posts. To see how i-thought-i-had-a-good-life-but-actually-pathetic life i'd went through. And how naive all my posts have been. But too bad. Maybe there's a reason why i cant review them.

Anw, i'm so sleepy i need to sleep and farttttttttttttt omg please. hahaha (dirty i know)

Rexona- Steia Setiap Saat.

My right eye is swolen i'm so pissed. Junia teased me about that. Haizzzzzz.
I can't log in to my facebook idk why.
I am absolutely sure that its still the old password.
Still something to do with pepper. Okay.
Hahahahah btw, i haven't been mentioning pepper for quite some posts already,
usually every post has at least one pepper word.

W
O
W

its an achievement at least i dont think so much liao.
Good
Good Good
Good Good Good

The changcuters is performing. Haha although many people dont like them but i like!
RACUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Eating papayas consuming drugs.

Heyyyyyyyy peoplee i'm super happy right now.

1. Junia Kok is here.
2. She bought me my Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Really love her.
3. We went shopping and went crazy.
4. I feel alive, after such a long time. It has been a hectic one nowadays.
5. And we were back to the old times and no more 'i miss you'

You asked me how tough i am,
I don't really know, if you ask me to measure from the normal humanity scalar, give it a question mark Haha.
And btw, my words are the smallest text now bcz i'm afraid my parents may peep. Esp Dad!! He loves to peep la.

What else what else. Oh i'm still not done shopping for xmas gifts. Some are settled but i just don't know what to get for some people haha. I know Dione and Quek need a Mr Perfect. Haha and i miss AS so so so so so so so much. Also pentolanzz's wife heheheh. Then also stripey's wife. Also Ben. Haiyaaaaa. Hope he's doing fine. Hope everyone is fine. Hope the world will be a better place to live on. Hope that i'll find my eternal happiness, even though i'm don't quite believe it is true haha. But i got nothing to lose. Like what hueimin said :)

I have tuition tmr. Okay actually tuition is not so bad and frustating and demanding since we almost always busy talking about twilight Haha. And imagine, in two and half hours, i only did around 7 qnts. Fantasic, eh? Maybe this is what i call, 'Enjoy-and-relax-tuition.' Okay why am i discussing about tuition.

I guess my life for the weekend is worth waiting for. Idk how to say but i'm really looking forward for tmr. I'm gg out with Junia the kaypoh again and i think i'm getting the dress i was eyeing on. Hehehehe and maybe i want to get the overknee length socks too! And also the scarf. Hahahahaha i bet dione's nosehole will be open close open close big small big small and her ears will produce a mini-hurricane, if she reads this Hahahaha.

Wait wait wait. I'm really sorry because idk what to get for you guys' xmas gift, mandy dione mel hueimin stefanie brenda please tell me what you guys want. Others are settled :))))))) Gahahaha i feel like santa claus. And Mom changed the house theme into ringbells, stars, balls, presents, typical-christmas-trees. And now i feel like living in Antartica. I will ask her to remove the tree. Its needle-like leaves which 'supposed' to reduce the loss of moist through transpiration during winter, keeps poking my face. Excuse my clumsiness banging onto it but its because of the gigantic size. I'll got it removed no matter what.

I blogged long enough. Hope you dont fall asleep.
Because this skin dont show the date and time, i'll write it here.


If only the moon could speak. It would've told you everything.


Medan,
Friday 12/12/2008 (the day when the earth stood still HAHA)
10:05 PM

killing hello kitty

People. I finally change my blogskin.
I don't really like it though, but it the best so far.
So, no more complaints for my unseen tagboard hoh!!

I've finally found my son (HAHA) oh lost it again cz i fell asleep. But i can hear his cry.

That is probably the longest and crappiest title ever Hahahahaha.
Anw btw highway, my orders are hereeeee i'm so happy its here, right in front of me. :*

You know what, Dione Seah is really funny.
I asked her to help me check if Eclipse is still available in Kino.
Then she thought its Eclipse mints as in the sweet Eclipse. And she said something like,
"Walao i thought you weirdo or sth your eclipse mints must come from Orchard road.'
I laughed sooo loud, Mom glared at me Hahaaa dione but that was an entertainment in the midst of my frustation.

Junia will be here soon!!!!!!!!!!
(I wanted to put more !! but it kinda look retarded) I'm so proud of her so went against her sister! I know is bad advice but nothing stops us!!!!!

Don's birthday is on Sat but he's celebrating it on Sunday. Hope it'll be a blast. But since its a child's bday party, i don't see how it can be that blasting rightrightright.
But the main thing is, they are all coming. Gooddddddd.

( errr, what ah?) omg your favourite quote.

I need new brain. I just realised i havent bathe okay and i feel really humid 'whatever'(your word) Tmr is the last day of my driving lesson. I'm still bad at it. Ah, you're away, if not you can teach me rightrightright. btw that previous you and that you is different one hoh. Its okay if you dont understand.

I miss Monica Johan. And i'm jealous of her, cz she got her Blackberry. And now in HK. AH, lucky woman.

Namaku MARVEL

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard

I'm supeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer pissed right now.
Super super super pissed.
Ergh.

Things aren't the same anymore. No matter how hard i try to maintain.
I'm freaking pissed i can just smack down anything including you.
Uufortunately you're thousand miles away.
If not, i make sure you're no different than roasted pork.

is today still a gift?

I'm going to blog in INDO!

Apakah ada yang tau bagaimana rasanya mencintai seseorang yang tak boleh dicintai? Aku tahu.

Aku memang baru mengenalnya, tapi rasanya aku sudah mengenalnya seumur hidup. Dan tiba tiba saja aku sadar dia telah menjadi bagian yang sangat penting dalam hidupku.

Aku pertama bertemu dengannya di 'sangkar' sekolah, dimana aku sedang mengobrol dengan seorang teman, dan dia melangkah keluar dari sebuah ruangan, menutup pintu, seakan tidak memerdulikan sekeliling nya, melangkah keluar. Aku seakan disihir. Seorang teman memberitahuku namanya dan dari sana-lah, semuanya bermula.

Saat itu juga aku mencoba keberuntunganku. Kami berkenalan, dan tanpa sadar, permasalahan bertambah rumit, karena seakan berjalannya waktu, perasaan ini tumbuh. Dia unik dan blak-blakan. Dia kadang baik tapi kadang judes dan menyebalkan. Dia angkuh. Tapi itu yang aku kagumi dari dirinya.

Hidup ini sungguh aneh, juga tidak adil. Suatu kali hidup melambungkan mu tinggi ke langit, kali lainnya hidup mengempaskanmu begitu keras ke bumi. Ketika aku menyadari dialah satu-satunya yang paling kubutuhkan dalam hidup ini, kenyataan berterak di telingaku dia juga satu-satunya orang yang tidak boleh kudapatkan. Kata-kataku mungkin terdengar tidak masuk akal, tetapi percayalah, aku ingin bersamanya. Tetapi apakah manusia bisa mengubah kenyataan?

Satu-satunya yang bisa kulakukan sekarang adalah keluar dari hidupnya. Aku tidak akan melupakan dirinya, tetapi aku harus melupakan perasaanku padanya walaupun itu berarti aku harus menghabiskan sisa hidupku mencoba melakukannya. Pasti butuh waktu lama sebelum aku bisa menatapnya tanpa merasakan apa yang kurasakan setiap kali aku melihatnya. Mungkin suatu hari nanti-aku tidak tahu kapan-rasa sakit ini akan hilang dan saat itu, kami baru akan bertemu kembali; atau mungkin, tak akan pernah bertemu kembali.

Seandainya masih ada harapan-sekecil apapun itu-untuk mengubah kenyataan, aku bersedia menggantungkan seluruh hidupku pada harapan itu.

Sekarang... Saat ini saja... Untuk beberapa detik saja... aku ingin bersikap egois. Aku ingin melupakan semua orang, dan mengabaikan dunia. Tanpa beban, tuntutan, ataupun harapan, aku ingin mengakui.
Aku mencintainya.

let me feel you in my vein.

I sprained my ankle. *_*
Because i fell thrice during our trip to Mickie Funland. :/
Heehee.

Today marks the first year of Grandma's death.
Omg i miss her so much, time flies so fast she's gone for a year alrd.

I get pretty much pissed, because i searched around town for the freaking Eclipse book but i can't find the English version one and the Indo version one sounds very retarded and formal. Ee i don't like. & as always, Junia my saviour promised that she'll buy it for me. She'll be here by this Friday and we're going out, i'm so xciteddddddd gahaaaaa.

I'm back to that old obssession again and i think everything i've been doing these times, its quite like an 'alibi'. Just to convince myself that i can make it. I thought i can handle it with ease, but it isn't as simple as that. And idk if i can work harder, because i think i tried hard enough. At night, when i lie on my bed, staring at 'that' photos, old memories rushed in.

Maybe its best if there's an explanation

Drink cows blood

Peopleeee i'm listening to the thunder by boyslikegirls.
Hehe Junia is coming oh hehehe i'm so pissed, erm no i mean pleased. Haha.
Excited. Excited. With her hoh, no ending gossip session, non-stop shopping, and no time without laughing. I'm so glad she's almost here. :):):):):):):)

Its gonna be fun since i've missed her since months, the last time i saw her and the last time we went out, we did major shopping(!!) and i promised her to drive her around the town until we get lost, which is majorly possible.

Ohmyohmy quek is here! She's so cute. Haha pancake.
I'll be away till Monday. Break from computer. Its sickening.

Back(w)ide flower

Candies says (12:29 AM):
I AM SO IRRITATED BY PEOPLE WHO HAS (F) AS THEIR NICK YOU KNOW
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:29 AM):
DONT KILL PEOPLE LAH
Candies says (12:30 AM):
HAHA
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
LIKE MINE?
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
HAHAHAHAHHAHAA
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
;;)

Candies says (12:30 AM):
HAHA
Candies says (12:30 AM):
I DONT MEAN PM
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
HAHAHAAHA. OH FINE
Candies says (12:30 AM):
I MEAN (F)SinisterMorphine
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
WOO
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
OH
Candies says (12:31 AM):
NOT BEHING
Candies says (12:31 AM):
IN FRONT
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
I PUT IT AT MY BACKWIDE
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
BACKSIDE*
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
HAHAHA
Candies says (12:31 AM):
haha
Candies says (12:31 AM):
I'M GNA PUT THIS ON MY BLOG
Candies says (12:31 AM):
FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW YOU BULLY ME
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
:-O
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
WAHH EMBARRASSS ME ONLY

Candies says (12:33 AM):
i looks like 'f'
Candies says (12:33 AM):
just it comes out as flower
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:33 AM):
HAHAHAHAHA.
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:34 AM):
more like dead flower xD


Idk why we were chatting in caps its just some 'trying-to-annoy-me' attempts she always does. Grrrr brenda has a flower on her back(w)ide Haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAYMOND SURYA!!!! :D
mas lu kapan ke sg sih?

Hey. I didn't drive today cz of Mom. >.<
So went to watch Twilight w/ Sherly and Cindy.
I think this is third time alrd. D: i just love the movie.
And since watching here is like so cheap, why not make useeeeeeeeee.

Christmas is coming heehee it means something to me heehee huehehe. Its gonna be exciting and i miss when you came knocking my balcony door at night and kidnapped me for a supper haha. You're like, so daring. No, i was saying, you're like a santa. Came through the chimney HUAHAHHA.
Idk what else to blog Mon is not here and and and i have nobody to talk to bcuz stef is ignoring me haha i know she's talking to pentolanzzzz. & tmr i'm going to Brastagi Hillpark i'm gna ride the roller coaster.
Its gna be the sixth now.


Okay bye i'm gna try on something

Yawning lizards

Can you see my naughty looking brother who calls me K********* now?

Don took this.

Taa-daaa!

Hey i was trying on the camera and yes it worked!

I looked pretty dumb here

Watched Street Kings ytd. It was quite a nice movie. But too much vulgarities. Its like, every minutes at least there were 3 'f's. Wth.

Then at night watched Twilight again. I can't get bored of that movie you know. Its like, (!!)

Today was quite an exciting one. Had tuition as usual, then i went to learn driving. God its so cool but i'm still terrible at it. I'm a terrible driver :O But its okay. Another session tmr. Pray.

Went to Taipan after that because Piaget held an End Year Concert. No comment. Idk how to describe the concert. Perhaps, cute? Haha told you idk how to describe. Yes then i'm home now. I have few pictures but i think next time huh. and Junia is back in a week's time

Three Cheers for TUKUL who's back!!!!! :D

You looked so cute when you were confused. :P

Why does today have to end?

When you can live forever,
what do you live for?

You know the thing is that,
i'm really proud of myself, you see.
this is maybe, supposed to be my period of frustation, depression, and maybe a tough one.
But i'm glad i could pull it through (:

Idk what makes me this strong and this care less.
But i find myslef less worrying, less thinking, less crying.
Its good though, with all the things right now. I'm a strong one.
But i think i need to thank someone, who has been with me all the time i need.
(no name mentioned :X you guys should know who) Thanks ;)

Believe me, its totally effortless.
Sometimes, i make myself thinking about it and seeing from how thing goes,
its pretty well managable.

I watched Twilight just now. Its really well put. I mean, the story line, the setting, the eyes (Edward's) omg i could die just looking at his really 'killing' look. The way he looked at Bella, the way the camera captures his eyes, the way he talked, the way he held Bella's neck and whispered at her. How i wish i have a vampire boyfriend, as gorgeous as Edward Cullen. Haha okay this is getting nowhere. I bet Brenda is jealous! Haha and you know Jacob and James looked really gross. Jacob looked like, (ahem) Tarzan. Haaha. I love the movie. But the book is still better.

Okay enough of movie review. You know, there's just something that happened when you walked into the room. Woah i can't tell you how fast my heart was beating. Its both slower and faster. I'm crapping people dont bother. and Btw, i still can't find my phone and sim card. I'm so dead.

The thing with love, its fascinating. Ahh,

With you, nothing is ever impossible.
God planned all these for us already.
Thanks, you are so much help to me. Much more than i need.

I just logged in to my blogger suddenly and they showed this ranting space i have nothing to rant. Idk how to rant my days. Hehehehe. Too happy to be true. I just don't want to go back. Can i dont go back. Heh STOP DISTURBING ME OKAY!!