something that i can't contain anymore

I really really feel like crying. Just now had Chem test. the whole class felt that it was easy and i thought i screwed it. Hey, tell me what's wrong with me nowadays? Physics wasn't much difference. all the stuffs that teachers had taght me couldn't enter my brain.

MYE is in exactly a week away and i'm not prepared. you're an idiot if you don't know how scared i am. My grades drop drastically. i failed here and there. subject that i was supposed to be strong in, was just another storytale. i keep on telling myself to please concentrate and do well. 

I really feel like crying. but too bad, you don't understand. you won't understand.

It doesn't feel good, absolutely. 

You still se me laugh and relax. yes i try to do that but it does no help. im still anxious and scared inside. I tried not to cry, but everytime i'm alone i will cry for my bitter life. 

Friends aren't who they were anymore. okay, some stay the same and i thank them for being with me. but other bunch of them, why are they just approach me when they are left alone or or or friendless. i rly can't take this life. i want to go back to my primary school life. everything was so easy and relax. now, every single thing rushes me. i have no bloody time for myself. people just don't want to understand. 

And  YOU. why do you have to add my load by giving me that kind of attitude? i can't take it anymore. everytime i look at you, i dont even know whether i like you, or i hate you. I just can't tell. after those hopes, urgh, nevermind.