So say it isn't so

Hey i'm still awake because i planned to stay up until 5 then bring my brother to airport, then i go home and sleep all the way. But i'm kinda sleepeh and tired hehehezz so i think after this post i'm gna just sleep sleep sleep. Ugh don't be surprised, but i'm kinda pink crazed nowadays hahaha maybe because i googled barbie too much teehee :)

I wanna spill something. Sometimes i think my brother is treated, unfairly. Like how he was pulled back from studying in singapore, because my parents thought he couldn't cope. Then how he always gets to use second-hands. Be it from me, my mother, or father. I feel kinda bad. No. I feel really bad. I realised mostly, whatever i asked for, whatever i want, will be granted, will be fulfilled. But my brother, I often think my parents looked down on him and treat him unfairly. I mean, he's their son but he's not being priotized. Like, i just told my mom that his phone fails and prolly he can't contact her and she started saying that he can't take care of things, everything goes wrong in his hands and let him use the old technologically challenged phone. Then i looked at my phone, and my heart skipped a bit, how i'm using a BlackBerry while my poor brother only gets to use fugly big phone. He's playful, yes. But i think nobody has the right to completely control him. While he's here, they constantly check on him, which may be a good thing, but when they overly do that, it feels a bit too much. No days without scolding for him. I feel really really bad. I know he feels outrageous inside but he always has no chance to talk it out. And what makes it worst, I think i'm treated quite the opposite. I have the freedom and the trust from my parents. Something that i think my brother quite deserves it as well. He didn't say anything when i came back home all overjoyed and proud, holding a BlackBerry, just a mere sentence, "Can i take a look?". He was over the moon when my mom allowed him to buy a Nike shoes he's been longing for. And frankly speaking, if it were me asking for that pair of shoes, it won't take me long to get her agreement.

I know he'd been begging for god knows how long to be able to come to singapore and visit his friends. My parents finally allowed but that was accompanied by thousands of must-fulfil promises and rules and restrictions. I thought it was scary. When we're going out with our own friends, i notice i always get more money than he does. He didn't even complain. Like, i get twice of the amount he got, but i spend it alone, while he had to share with my other brother. My mother never restricts me from going with friends and didn't get all mad when i use the house phone too long. But she'd scream her lungs off when my brother gets home a minute later or when she caught him lying in his bed talking on the phone. I mean, what's wrong with talking on the phone with friends, or even girlfriend? I know i earned my parents trust hard and they think i'm grown up enough to take care of myself. But shouldn't they give my brother a chance as well? Can't they just take it as the immaturity of a young boy and lack of responsibility he has? Sometimes i wonder whether my parents grasped the idea of teenagehood or they're just preventing my brother from having one.

I love my brother. And i really hope he lives a happy life.