keep me close by your side

I hate it, and I'm not joking when I use word with such bad conotation, when things are so messy and disorganised. I hate it, when I have to be subjected to dilemma of deciding and taking another step. I hate it, when I can't win the fight with my procastinating self. Ugh. I hate this.

Chinese O is so freaking near I don't know why I am even blogging. I should be doing hardcore memorising and here I am, lazing around. Come on Candies! This is the last lap. Do the best you ever can and don't give up!! Yah. Gogogo don't you want a pass? Better be!

I learned how to cherish, have you?

on the street where you live :)

Yoyo man ytd choir concert was awesome to the max I love choir so much and I enjoyed singing so much and my juniors are lovely. :)

Preparation and rehearsal were tiring but I guess it was a worth sacrifice, for choir, for myself and for those that supported us. I managed to sell my tickets to mon, arwin, and oliv. Arwin was supposedly sick but he came, so it was reallyyy nice of him. I expected that guy to go home and do his neverending pw. And thanks to my explicit direction, he didn't get lost. Moni and oliv came later because...idk why haha I'm so glad they came. Arwin told me they were sitting on the balcony so when I came in, I looked up to the balcony then I saw hands waving below, and they were right in front of me! I was so shocked! Maybe it was readable from my face expression. Hahaha.

First up was white horses. It was real cool and the crescendo part was majestic even I had goosebumps! We were really powerful yeah 3 choir combined. I guess it was a real promising start. then bishan park and dunearn performed, followed by beatty!! I heard loud cheers when beatty choir entered and maybe that was the loudest cheer yo! We sang rhythm of life which was hurriedly finished but still yay, then musica dei, where I made a lot of mistakes and ashimounmua blablabla which was so lovable! I love love love the ending! Really cool!!! Such a tiny choir with a powerful voice!! See! Choir can do it!

Then after that was cerfvolant. Idk la that one I don't rly know how to sing. Then 15min intermission, met them and went to balcony. Many teachers were there and they congratulated us. Hehe I think one teacher said, 'candies why you looked so happy on stage?' Hehe of course yo! ;P hehehehe. Oh! Forget the cute doorman. He was so cute haha he kept asking me the same qnt.

So then it was...hikari ga, flying free(love it! Ykw) then on the street where you live which was super fun! The guys made the audience laughed and it was super fun. I love that song and I was grinning widely and returned :):) nvm you dnt understand. Bty choir is the best. The last finale, the music's always there with you was also cool thou I forgot the lyrics hahaha then moni kept taking pictures and making funny faces and yeah then hugging session. I was so sad because...yeah my last choir performance, so my best one :) esp when after concert you're waited near the backstage and you saw many familiar missed faces. Isabel was there, novina, hasnita, pravin's sister, tracy and many more! Yey yey yey!

Left w arwin liv and mon. We walked aimlessly and waited for taxi cz we planned to eat fish and co but then we ended up eating mac. I made arwin admit that beatty choir was the best but he rly admitted it so haha its cool that he appreciates music.

So aft I reached home I wanted to sleep but, somebody called me and the voice was rly ghost-like I was so afraid. I couldn't sleep :(:( the thing kept calling.

because the thing is, im not done here

Heyyo. School was boring to the max. Choir was surprisingly fun and I felt surprisingly pleased to be able to sing again, after so long. I think I've made a wise decision. If people can do it, why not me? I hope I will be able to pull this through. In some point of ,another I got very tired of practicing, I told myself I can have all my fun moments and enjoy later, after this.

Honestly I'm tired of this. Chinese isn't an easy-just-depend-on-your-luck kinda subject. I felt extremely exhausted but idk why I am so...obsessed with chinese that sometimes I think I'm doing too much. But the thing is, there's never too much. This language is unbelievable. It just never ends. Ugh I really hope my hard work will be paid off w my result.

I'm quite sleepy and I did very little chinese today cause...yeah I caught Night@museum2 with dione. But nvm, I'll buck up tmr. I can't wait for next week! Whoo esp aft cheena olvl. I can't wait for dance class, can't wait to collect my IC, can't wait to go malaysia, can't wait to have fun, can't wait to...so many! Cool.

I need you. Because you make everything better just by being there. ;P

Ps. Get well soon chicken backside

let me know you love me

Let me know you love me, let me know you care,show me what you're thinking and tell me that you'd be there.

That was part of the lyrics for the dance song. I love the dance. The steps are coolio! Haah but now mu muscles ache like shit. But it felt good to sweat. Okay good. I'm hungry.

I'm watching shi dian xin wen haha. They reported on david hartanto's death. Ugh idk why but I don't believe the bao dao. How can he be so chong dong and jump down while he's already in his last year of education. Whatever. Chinese rocks.

I stumbled upon a blog. Haha the blogger posted her point of view in fairytales and she mentioned, cinderella. She said we shouldn't blame the two evil sisters because they lived up to their mother's expectation and if only cinderella were ugly, would the prince marry her, just because of one night dance? Hmm. That is just a fairytale. That's bedtime story. Idk why they argued so tensely over this topic and used sarcasm here and there. I mean, everybody have their own point of view. You can't make everybody agree with whatever you think, right? Its okay if sometimes what you assume isn't like the rest. But its very childish to argue over a, fairytale? I don't know whatever its not my problem also. I just got quite disturbed.

I hope Andrew is doing good, consider he's single now. My brother is strong. So I suppose, he'll pull it through yea?

Ahhh shi dian xin wen ends. Sad :( now, I am scared of my own sudden chinese craze. Hmm

baby before its too late

Hello. Today is sooper chinese-y. I listened to chinese radio station, talked in chinese, sang chinese songs, did many exercises. Wooo I'm on my way!

And alsooooooo, I exercised! Did crunches, cardio, and I ran 3km woooo. Now I'm a lil giddy haha from the extreme exercise but I feel good! Yay yay yay pepper must be vry proud of moi. Hehe or at least pepper's girlfriend. Ok shut up. Haha

Cool cool cool I think jamming so many chinese things at once doesn't help so I'm taking a break now. Meeting mandy and dione later so mandy my saviour can help moi!!! Gracias good! Hahaha

You know just now I did one zhong he tian kong, then they talked about people have common sickness. I wonder what! Haha its taking someone for granted. Rong yi ba qing dai zai shen bian de ren yu shi shi wei bi ran. :) yes people are like that. It goes without saying. Bu yan er yu. When the person has gone, then you appreciate his presence. By then it'll be too late. That's why I always cherish my friends, family, and everybody around me. Even those I detest. Because when they're gone, they really are. Its always useless crying over a split milk. Right, I should totally tell myself this a few days ago. So people! Treasure every moment you spend with your loved ones, because we never know what will happen tomorrow. It remains a mystery :) wow. And also, when you don't say something you need to, to someone, one day you might find its already too late. Ydk how true it is, but I believe. Don't regret, becaust it always comes last. :):) back to chinese! Wooo my adrenaline is rushing me yay!

splash!

I was standing near to the window when I talked to quek on the phone and I felt the urge to jump down. He he like it will be cool maybe to land on grass and be retarded without anyone noticing. But anw I didn't because I don't have the guts and heheh no balls.
I am back to using my blackberry because I kinda miss it and I kinda feel annoyed when I typed with my sony tiny phone haha. So yeah somemore I can use the internet. Cool I miss you.

Ytd we celebrated jesslyn's belated bday heheh so many bday hoh. Met up with vincent, agnes, lisa and stef @ tpc and bought the cake, rushed to trellis and called her down. We hid behind the wall while stef waited for her. Ate the cake then after that vincent left, we went to the pool and talked until 11++, jess went back, we sent ag and lis back, then walked back to trellis. Talked to stef until almost 3am and I went back, collapsed straight away.

I should really keep myself from laughing at steven everytime I see him. I feel bad D:

I am still comtemplating on whether I should go for choir concert or not. To go or not to go; that is the question.

Okay, back to chinese!

I feel like a crybaby. I just can't get over this.

Chinese O level is in 9 days' time. I don't know what to do. I don't want to flunk it. So much for saying I don't care, I still care. Chinese IS important. If it isn't, then why the school bother to offer Mother Tongue.

I will try to look at the bright side of things, although its still dim, but maybe I can forget about everything else, and just concentrate on my chinese and fight until the very end so whatever result I get, I won't be disappointed. I'm pretty sure I will be able to pull it through, because when there's a will, there's a way. Cool. Seems like I'm getting back my positive thinking me back!

My results are pukable and horrendous. But that should spur myself to work harder and achieve better, not to put me off like this. I shouldn't give up because of this setback. Have to be bai nian shu ren hahaha. I will just have to take one step at a time. For now, clear my chinese first, then work my ass off for the rest.

I should really stop...comparing and condemning myself. it does no help. Maybe this is a wake up call and a sign for me to geekify myself. I know everything comes with a price to pay. But is a pay really worth, that's up to me to put it.

I think my chinese tutor will scream for joy when I tell her I'm treating chinese seriously.

I just want to scream. As loud and long as possible. I need to let this burden off my shoulder. I really have had enough. Don't I deserve a reward for my disgusting hardwork and effort? Why put in so much effort if my result aren't even comparable to those who spend half their lives playing games or raping the PSP? Why bother to spend thousands of dollars on tuition if it all goes to the drain.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Its like a terror and I'm so afraid of it. I've had enough of crying and now my eyes are all blurry I can't even see properly. I really, really do not wish to go to school tomorrow. I hope my guardian understands. I don't know why I feel so loserish. Or maybe I am really a loser yea.

I thought talking to you would lighten my burden and maybe you would cheer me up. I thought you would make things better. But you just made me feel worse. A lot worse. Its like you don't even care of what I say. Oh yes maybe you shouldn't right because I might take it the wrong way. Absolutely. You know, sometimes I wish you'd understand me better. But then I think again, who am I. I just need a place, someone to rant at, someone to spill everything at, and yes, choosing you is a stupid decision. I knew you wouldn't care but I still went ahead. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever okay whatever!!! I DONT CARE I WANT TO DIE.

Ps. Mom can you please be angry at me

jet'aime

Yoyo man! Heheh ima at oliv's.

She's making me a ring! ^^ like getting married. childhood ring.

&^bfufgiugffsug

Hahaha right i'm so dead i havent touch physics at all. anyway nites toodles :D

Ps. I'm still at seventh heaven and the smiling-suddenly syndrome is still in me

Cause when i'm with him

I am thinking of you

Thinking of you

What would you do

If you were the one

Who was spending the night

Oh I wish that I

was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer

In the middle of a winter

Like a hard candy with a surprise center

How do i get better

Once i've had the best

You said there's tons of fish in the water

So the water's I will test

soc-hers

I have been lazying all day and sleeping and reading the cique. In the book they mentioned McNuggets so many times now I craved for it! Aiyo. I haven't bathe, haven't brush my teeth, and haven't study. T-ew lazy. Buhbye

im sleepin with the lights on

Hello! Sorry today I will blog in Indo haha because I miss Indo right now.

Tau ngak perasaannya waktu kamu itu diantara orang-orang yg punya persepsi sama dan kamu ngak bisa ngeluarin isi hati kamu karna mereka ngak bakal ngerti! Itu yg lagi aku rasain. Aku itu bergaul sama orang-orang yg punya kepercayaan yg beda dari aku. Ada yg berpegang erat, ada yg biasa aja. Jujur, kadang aku merasa aneh dan ngak nyaman. Aku ngak pernah bisa ngomong ke siapa2 ttg masalah ini karna pasti, mereka membela dan melihat dari sis orang yg punya kepercayaan sama,kan? Makanya itu td waktu pulang, aku ngobrol sm nic yg dulu punya kepercayaan sama aku aku, tp skrg, juga sama kayak mereka. Tapi dia ngerti perasaan aku. Dia tau apa yg aku rasain. Dia juga bingung. Dia bilang dia ngak tau dan dia juga dipengaruhi. Menurut aku sih, itu tergantung masing2 yah, soalnya kan masalah kayak gini, ngak bisa dipaksakan. Dia juga bilang kadang2 kalo temen2 dia ngomongin tentang itu, dia ngerasa ngak enak, soalnya dia bukan satu diantara mereka. Dia bener banget. Gw juga sering merasa kayak gitu. Kayak kita ngerasa yg sama. Gw seneng banget karna akhirnya ada orang yg ngerti perasaan gw dan tau apa yg gw rasakan. Dia juga tau perasaan gw yg suka ngak enak dgn ajakan tmn utk ke rumah tuhan. Bukannya gimana yah, jujur aku itu ngerasa ngak enak. Tapi taulah, aku orang nya yg selalu ngak bisa ngecewain orang... Tapi bayangin deh, kamu jelas2 tau kalo aku ngak bakal pernah terpengaruh, kenapa masih maksa? Gini deh, pernah ngak sih sekalii aja aku ngomongin tentang kepercayaan aku atau sekalii aja aku coba untuk mempengaruhi kalian? Ngak,kan? Kenapa? Karna menurut aku, kamu percaya dengan apa yg kamu percaya, dan kamu pegang erat dan kuat, bukannya percaya atas paksaan atau atas dasar 'karna semua temen aku percaya jadi aku ikutan'. Jujur aku ngerasa enak dan legaa banget abis ngomong sama nic karna untuk pertama kalinya ada orang yg ngerti perasaan gw, dan ngak buat gw ngerasa lbh ngak nyaman lagi. Setidaknya, gw tau gw cerita ke dia tanpa kecemasan kalo gw bakal di judge. Gw juga tau kalo dia ngak bakal ngomong sesuatu yg bakal buat gw ngerasa kalo gw cerita sama org yg salah. Setidaknya uneg2 gw uda keluar semua dan, gw tau gw ngak sendiri. Ha ha ha :)

Selamat malam!

Ps. Ku merindukanmu

love, stargirl

Heyyo :D

I love the book Queen Bee

Am at olivia's borrowing her laptop becauseee, i can't use mine since we're far apart haha.

Ohshit i miss Junia Kok darlinggggggggg when will you be back. :(

You know exam isn't over for me but i already join the fun of having 'its-finally-the-end' in my mind ugh i have to ace my phy p1!!

I woke up this morning and went to tpc w oliv. now at her house. i very lazy to bathe. very lazy to move, very lazy to go home and get ready. i feel like dying so tired. i slept @ 4 ytd.

where is agnes i want to get frerry's bday's picture my blog is retardedly wordy ew. Hahahahaah

All of the things that I want to say

Just aren't coming out right

I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people

With nothing to do, nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people and

I don't why I can't keep my eyes off you

broken string

Happy birthday Frerry :)

Mr Goh made my day today. He told me I scored well for physics! I was overjoyed! But today's papers were...grotesque hahaha.

So.. Okay I'm flying over to starbucks to meet dione glen and nicholas. I'll cont later hehexx.

yeayea yea i'm finally using laptop. glen's.yay and my typing skill is like shit. dione finally changed her phone's wallpaper!!!! she's going to put her wallpaper on her blog!!! thedustbin-toast. its averyyyyyyyyy cute and colourful man!!

so, today i went for medical check-up. they asked me if i were pregnant. stupid blood test killed me. hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha. okay i'msohappy i can typeeeeeeeeeeee but, my typing skill is like shit now.

so just now after medical check up, went to orchard to wait buy frerry's cake. then i called arwin for his help. went to boonkeng and met him and frerry at the bus stop. we went to frerry's house and ate the cute tweety elephant super kiddy cake:) you know what, arwin wasted my $1.70 because he burned all the plastic umbrellas except for the pink one, the one that i...nevermind. i think he found it fun and enjoyable. he found so much joy in burning all the umbrellas and producing ashes. &&& i think the cake was nice. i think i had a great day today. i think that little annoying boy should just die. i think he has no manners. i think arwin's umbrella is humongous. i think frerry's house sucks. i think...cute cute de nehhz. whatever.

LOL LOL LOL i think i don't know what to say already. oh, then frerry went to have dinner and we went home. my school shoes was wet to the max. dirty to the max. smelly to the max. deformed to the max. hahaha i miss my inspironnn. :(:( miss it to the maxx. nobody nobody want chuuuuu(you).

I'm sleepeh. my eyes are blurry. uh uh uh i'm going blind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blind! blind! blind! i dont know what i'm typing. just anything byebye

arti sahabat

I miss you friend
Its been long since we talked
I don't know we become like this
You're my good friend and I don't want our friendship to end, just like that. I don't know what's the root of the problem. Honestly can we save this? I'd do anything. Even if it means listening to your complaints for hours or to...sacrifice my sleep to help you do your work. I know its really tough to maintain contact esp we are so far away. But it isn't impossible. You seem like a stranger to me, we don't even click anymore. Where did our sisters-forever swear go? Where did our childish primary school promises go? I miss the old you. I miss our friendship.

It feels bad not keeping in touch with the rest but those are nothing compared to the feeling of losing you. Maybe I've never mentioned to you how much I appreciate our friendship, but I really do. I hate losing friends. We used to have mutual friends but where did they go? I'd rather sacrifice all the friends for a best friend like you. I mean, of course I was upset for losing contact with them and all the conflicts that happened in between. But it made me feel better when I told myself you'd be there. But now?

I have never given much thought about this but everytime I come online, your status is always busy. We can't even steal time to talk. Oh my god I miss you. That's when I realise that we're drifting apart. I hope you realise that as well and, let's keep our BFF promise strong :)

Seorang sahabat...

Just take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
Its like learning to fly, or falling in love.

roman picisan

Ahhh, despite all the papers setbacks, I still feel good. I think I know why. :) I feel content and in ease. Like exam is nothing with...(; if only I can feel this way forever. I'm pretty sure it will subside anyway. I like this feeling. It makes me smile all of sudden, even when I am in the middle of doing frustating papers. :D alamak.

Huh she's done w her papers. Now making noises ughhhhhh. Study room is full. Outside is freaking hot. Whateverzz. I'm in seventh heaven.

Ps, Is it too late to say all the good things about you now?

its a love story

Hello my phone sucks. I just charged yesterday night and its already dying. Whatever. I can't be bothered. This minor thing is the last problem I'm going to think about.

There have been a lot of things going on in my mind I don't know why either. Or is this because I think too much? Like, I just can't stop the 'if only-s'. I have still yet to do anything about myself and my life. I have still yet to decide where I'll be heading later on. I have still yet to accomplish my goals and I have still yet to start revising. ;)

jess is almost finishing her exam already and I'm still half way through. I can't wait to kick exam out of the way and just sit down and relax and do things at my preferred pace. Now, I have to rush everything I do be it eating, bathing, even typing. Well honestly Idk why I am blogging even. I should be... among the towering books.

Geog paper was okay. I wasn't sure of some though but at least I know I'm safe. KL-Genting trip is confirmed I am relieved now. At least some matters are settled :)

You know what, I shall hit the books now and yes, smile!

Ps, I just dropped my phone into the dustbin. Purrfect

Romeo take me somewhere we could be alone.
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
Its a love story baby just say yes

mama i love you

Mama, I love you.
Hope you like the card I gave you.

Hello. I feel very terrible now. Really terrible. I want to cry. Uh why. I mean, its not like I deserve this. Well, I don't think I do. Tell me why. I've had enough. I have feeling too. Doesn't mean I always give in, I like being treated that way. Please?

I lost the motivation to study. Ohmy why.

you've got the right one

Hello! I just came back from clarke quay. Heheh yea partly because I kinda give up on mye and also because my aunties and grands are back from china yea and tmr they're leaving so yea. Went to clarke quay for nothing. We just sat by the river. Stared at PDA-ed couplesss. I felt sleepy and bored hahaha but it wuz okay la. At least I've got income heheh.

Cabbed home with my cousin and her bf and now I'm home. I am so sad bcz I handed my laptop to my aunty so that she can't bring it back for mom to repair. I'm so sad bcz I'm not going to be able to touch my laptop for another month omgee. And also I'm very scared if ALL my data is deleted I can totally cry because everything are there omg no pleez.

Okay now, what should I do? Should I sleep or study? I'm quite sick at studying so I think I'm going to sleep. Rightright meet my bf tmr! Gud gud gud. Night.

Ps, my leg's muscle acted up just now it was so pain I think its because of that stupid wedges.


Satu, kau begitu indah
Dua, kau memang menggoda
Tiga, kau beri harapan
Aku, jadi tak sabar

Bawalah aku kesana
Menari dalam pelukan

shoot me silly

I just came back from Mon's bday dinner. All thanks to stef and agnes for helping me to accomplish the mission impossible of sneaking out heheh. I succeeded!!!!!

The food was good but I didn't eat much so wasted. Saw abigail kwek just now. Haha she was also celebrating her father's bday. My wedges were totally killing me and I had to take it out and walked barefooted all the way from shangrila to orchard bus stop. Haha passerby-s looked at my bare foot then look at me. I know what they were thinking.

Mom and my guardian called just now and I panicked I ran to the toilet. Chocolate mousse is the best!

; I have been screwing up papers after papers. How to convince my father like this? I studied so hard yet I still find it difficult? Might as well totally don't need to study. Its so demoralising. Esp when you're the only who found it hard. I...feel like giving up.

what took me so long to realise?

It takes to hand to clap.

Why am I so naïve to hope that things will fall back to place? Why am I so fatuous to think that we can remain friends? All I ask for is friendship. Is that too much? So what did all those mean? Is our friendship that meaningless to you and the moment I don't start asking how you are we turn into complete stranger? Huh?

I am very tired of being the one trying too hard for our friendship. Can I even call it a friendship now? You don't even bother to ask me how's life, what am I up to, or the simplest, how's exam so far. You don't even bother. Sometimes I think you think relation of ours aren't considered friendship. So what is this?

I honestly don't know why I put on so much hope on keeping our friendship when you can't be bothered at all.

See the foolishness?


Okay hahahahaha that bit was to practice for tmr's composition. I am so unprepared and I don't usually fear exams this much but this time, if I don't do well, then, I can kiss my dream goodbye.

i dont know what to expect

I talked to mom, about where I will be heading after O lvl. She agreed on Aus and Tourism. I'm quite glad she supports my will. But daddy still contemplates and he says my result will determine his decision. I dono. Uh..

Frankly speaking, or rather typing, I don't know is this what I really want? Or is this just like last year, an attempt to run away. I secretly thanked god for the cancellation. But this, this is d2ydx2=O. No turning point. I don't want to make a foolish decision and regret about it. I don't even know what I actually want. Sometimes I feel like I have to go no matter what, but sometimes I think I shouldn't.

I asked myself so many times but I can't figure out the answer.

and you, you won't affect me and my future. You aren't worth it.

Ps. I'm so useless. Sorry

I wanted to blog about something but because this damn phone takes forever to load, I forget. For one thing I know, I'm so sick of studying just like how my brain is sick of absorbing the informations. If only I'd use 2-3% more of my brain cells, I wouldn't die this way...

I'm lying in my bed, (not) thinking.

You know the feeling when you've just built a beautiful sandcastle and you're in the middle of admiration, but suddenly the waves come and wash it away?

You know the feeling when you repeatedly punch a pool of water, hoping it would hurt, but it doesn't?

You know the feeling when you know sand and water don't dissolve each other but you put them together anyway. no matter how hard you stir, they still don't blend?

And then the regret, anger, pain, and everything else just come in after its too late?

I wish I wasn't so harsh back then.

People around the world are worried of the Swine flu that has been contagiously killing many. And here I am...studying for exam! I find this quite hilarious.

I rly hope the disease won't spread in sg or indo because I still have so many things undone, unsaid, un-etcetc. and unprepared to lose my loved ones. This world is getting scarier. I was told that mankind will be destroyed by the sun's explosion and its predicted to be in 2012. Uh means...I will be 19. Hush what am I saying. No dooms day. No extinction. No 'the end'. Everything will be just as fine. And no matter what I still have to sit for my exam.

Agnes Sutrisno knows what to do if anything goes wrong.

Yesssss this is 4am in the morning and I can't sleep. I have been doing all the nonsense like counting sheep, recite the newton's laws, count down and up. But all to no avail, I still can't sleep. I wonder if you're sleeping now.

Something has been bothering me pretty much. But I don't know what. Its quite ironic huh. I don't know what's bothering me but I'm sure there's. Or maybe I know? Its hard. I thought of how I was ten years ago and how I am now. Wow it really puts me off how fast time flies and how much I've changed. Sometimes I wish I was how I was ten years ago.

I was never subjected to heavy decisions, never-ending curriculum, stess, and heartbreak. And now I'm trying to picture myself ten years down the road. I will have more responsibilities and maturity, can't do any childish-like actions. Maybe I shall try to be a better person in each stepping stone I take. So many things that I want to change in me that I can't prioritise which first.

Its like punching the pool of water. It produces ripples, it doesn't hurt. And that's when it hurts more.

Taking a break from all the study. I almost went nuts, I talked to my books. Gosh this revision is killing me. Its only mye. I wonder how o's will be like... BUT! No matter what, I won't give up! Because there's always the bright side of everything :)

Since I've decided to go to monica's bday dinner nxt friday, I shall chiong like crazy beforehand because I won't have time next week. Nevermind...its her sweet seventeen and I know how impt that day will be for her :D now idk what to wear because I don't exactly know what to wear haha! Nvm see how it goes and see what I will be feeling on that day..

So much for eating today, I still feel hungry goshhhh. So today was spent studying(ofcuz) at bobby's. Went there with ag and stef. Then leehocksiong cs came and aft that I couldn't concentrate alrd. Dinner and then home. Novi came and we called mon and flew to shaw mac. Laughed at many retarded things and got 'scolded' twice. Then after that I'm home again.

I decided to sleep straight away but I couldn't so I'm studying physics but it grosses me out I closed it haha. I've got goal for this exam and keep my fingers crossed I'll be able to reach it. (;

Hey I just came back from studying with stef and ag. Quite productive tudae. Heheh. Went to starbucks I did maths and geog until abt 8, then we went to stef's for dinner then to mac for studying again. Haha I'm quite lazy now so I don't think I'm studying...

Just now between the studying, we talked abt grades and other related stuff and I realise, some people are just too competitive and tense. Aih, don't they know that there so much more than good cert and perfect grades? I mean, its good to be competitive but, in a healthy way. Don't you just piss people off when you don't stop comparing your marks? Idk but I do.

No offense I am not talking abt anyone in particular.

Ps, I like the way you say 'hi'

Oh my this is terrible. I forgot to bring my organizer back and now I feel so aimless because I jotted down all my to-do lists there. Ah should have been less clumsy. If I could I would. What am I talking about!

Ok anyway, I haven't study today because I have been mugging like crazy this few weeks and...I'm sick of studying I want to vomit on my textbooks and wish all the things I need to know are miraculously transferred into my brain. So helpless. Gotten back chem test. My mark was a disappointment la I expected better result :( yeah but I will continue striving!! And I will show you I'm better off without you and I can make it without your help.

So here's the plan. I'm going to sleep now and wake up xtra early tmr for study annnnnnd tuition then study again and tuition again and the night, study again :) hey candies, you can do it! Isn't that what you always told me? Oh shut up la candies!! Pls wake me up tmr! (No, this morning) ok you know what, I don't actually left my organizer. Its in front of moi.

You used to make things better and doable just by being there.