Journal de la vie extraordinaire

I just want to scream. As loud and long as possible. I need to let this burden off my shoulder. I really have had enough. Don't I deserve a reward for my disgusting hardwork and effort? Why put in so much effort if my result aren't even comparable to those who spend half their lives playing games or raping the PSP? Why bother to spend thousands of dollars on tuition if it all goes to the drain.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Its like a terror and I'm so afraid of it. I've had enough of crying and now my eyes are all blurry I can't even see properly. I really, really do not wish to go to school tomorrow. I hope my guardian understands. I don't know why I feel so loserish. Or maybe I am really a loser yea.

I thought talking to you would lighten my burden and maybe you would cheer me up. I thought you would make things better. But you just made me feel worse. A lot worse. Its like you don't even care of what I say. Oh yes maybe you shouldn't right because I might take it the wrong way. Absolutely. You know, sometimes I wish you'd understand me better. But then I think again, who am I. I just need a place, someone to rant at, someone to spill everything at, and yes, choosing you is a stupid decision. I knew you wouldn't care but I still went ahead. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever okay whatever!!! I DONT CARE I WANT TO DIE.

Ps. Mom can you please be angry at me