i dont know what to expect

I talked to mom, about where I will be heading after O lvl. She agreed on Aus and Tourism. I'm quite glad she supports my will. But daddy still contemplates and he says my result will determine his decision. I dono. Uh..

Frankly speaking, or rather typing, I don't know is this what I really want? Or is this just like last year, an attempt to run away. I secretly thanked god for the cancellation. But this, this is d2ydx2=O. No turning point. I don't want to make a foolish decision and regret about it. I don't even know what I actually want. Sometimes I feel like I have to go no matter what, but sometimes I think I shouldn't.

I asked myself so many times but I can't figure out the answer.

and you, you won't affect me and my future. You aren't worth it.

Ps. I'm so useless. Sorry