Fresh and new

Its going to be Feb in few minutes' time. which means
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The start of something new. :)
Start of something new.

Super woman

Hey. Today was boring, as in the lessons part. I slept during physics and i feel terribly awful okay fine whatever. So you know e2 has five tests next week and i can still heehaaheehaa not studying good girl.

English was quite scary, and hilarious. Okay then chinese always sucks right haha. Then after that.................................................................................................................oh, Monica texted me and said she's outside staff room so i flew there. novi and arwin was there as well. then monica and arwin went off, nov and i waited for her testi for decades and yeah.

i happened to embarass myself but anw thanks to mrs ng haha. so i went home and lie on my comfy bed.(haha it was unnecessary) then went to toa payoh meet Nov and then to mon's house and we laughed like mad. me and nov did those stupid quizes and laughed our socks off. then we looked at the horoscopes and all of ours were ridiculous haha. and the 'What If Your Crush Is A Leo/Scorpio/Taurus thingy was just, too funny.

i think if mrs syamsudin come across my blog and read my posts, she's going to fail ma badly haha cz i have disastrous structure and probably laughed at them. okay who cares man as long as you me we us ALL understand what i write. i'm getting nowhere.

so dinner and the people around were quite scarrrrry. then i am home and i just did the stupidest thing again.

Shut up and drive

I should have just give up rightz.
Yes. Bye.

Glorygratz

I really should be studying, since i have five tests next week wow.
Instead i'm doing freaking online shopping and i freaking clicked confirm which means, yes. Ordered. I feel like slapping myself :(

It is really cool here. i mean in my room. and i'm freezinggggg.

do you know why i don't swear anymore?
It seems like the winner of the war is coming along pretty fine. Glorygratz.

Bogoshipoyo

Why are people dying?
Okay i know its stupid to ask but just why now?

I'm not doing anything expect for stunning. another scary news. Ohmy when is this going to end? Can someone get me into the homework mood? I have tonnes of them and i'm not doing. Great. Novi and Mon are back and i'm so happy. Apparently the world war five is still ongoing. Love it when the war comes to the climax haha of cuz i'm joking.

Ohoh and you know, Yovia's design is in the seventeen magazine feb 2009 so coolzz. Haha so smart huh and its like, (price unavailable) wow. Haha yes i want to be like her.

Wth i'm crapping and i miss ray.

Even i can't concentrate doing things and keep hoping that its unreal. i couldn't complete any work my mind is blank.

What about her? Ohmy, she totally doesn't deserve this, cruelty.

When nothing seems valuable anymore

I'm speechless.
I just came home, and received a devastating news. God, even until now i still can't believe it. It was something i never expect. Just yesterday i saw him, and today...

How can such cruel thing happen to a nice and good girl like Jess? I mean, she's my friend and i know how fragile and vulnerable she is. Even small things like, being scolded by my guardian can make her cry, what about this? I don't know how. I haven't seen her since, because she had depart to see him, for the last time.

I feel so sorry. Its more than sorry. I know how she feels. Losing someone so precious and important and mean almost everything to her. Although i'm not too close to him, i felt really terrible for his departure.

I always told myself to look at the bright side of things, but in this case, they aren't anything to learn from. The pain, the sorrow, the lost, the regrets. I don't know. Even i can't take it, what about Jess? She's too weak for this. Its too soon, for a just grown up girl like her. God, why do you take him away from her so soon? She still needs his love, his guidance, his care and concern, and most importantly, his support to carry on.

I don't dare to call her. I don't even know if she's still able to pick up my phonecall. I can't put myself in her shoes, its totally unexpected. I still can't digest the fact.

Tell her to be strong, tell her everything's going to be alright, tell her she's going to make it, tell her whatever i can now. But do they even help? Its far worser than failing Amaths test, screwing up Chem Spa, or whatever. I'd rather i fail all the test in the world, than suffering from this.

She still have two younger siblings and her studies in Singapore is not completed. I can't imagine what's her next step after this. I hope she changes to be a tougher girl. But honestly its a fat hope. I don't know. She's such an amazing friend, and i feel for her.

Its worse than losing pepper. Its worse than losing contact with pepper. Its worse than the cold war with pepper. Idk, i can even afford a mere hope. Life's too cruel.

And may you rest in peace

I sat down and the flashback started

I was browsing through my photos and i found this. And i realised it seems so long ago and ancient. I miss that. I miss that day.

Camelia

Camelia maafkanlah aku
Karena ku tak bisa temani tidurmu
Camelia lupakanlah aku
Jangan pernah lagi kau temui aku

Kau wanita terhebat
Yang pernah singgah di hatiku
Kau wanita yang tegar
Aku mohon lupakan aku

[*] Sudahlah jangan menangis lagi
Ku rasa cukup sampai di sini
Mungkin di suatu saat nanti
Kau temui cinta yang sejati

[**] Sudah cepat lupakanlah aku
Jangan pernah ungkit masa lalu
Ku takut kekasihku pun tahu
Kau pernah menjadi simpananku
Camelia…

this song is like, reminding me to move on. parts of them that i bold, strongly related to me. So maybe i can change Camelia into Candies . heheah

stupid pepper i hate you

I just posted so i don't need another title

Hi yeah. happy chinese new year. hope you do better.
okay since this is a new year, and this i the 2560th year, and i haven't make any resolution since jan1, i better make now, and it better be 2560. haha siao.

1). Start new and fresh ; i mean everything.
2). Talk lesser. ; i really think this is necessary.
3). Spend lesser money ; yes i promised agnes alrd. she's going to be the patrol police.
4). Excel in everything/do my best ; that's for you. :)
5). Throw pepper into the river and let him flow to NewZealand ; i still can't
6). Pepper-free ; soon!
7). Keep myself away from feeling ; i'll explain that to myself later.
8). Simply, be a better person. :)

I made eight cz eight is a lucky number. I believe. So the eighth resolution is the bottom line of all. Yes, because we live life, to the fullest. I mean it. I'm going to overcome the obstacles that's coming my way. I'm alot more stronger than this (:

So,
I'm in Singapore now. sigh. i don't like it. because it means, whatever. I feel like eating. hahaha please don't be surprised when you see me in school cz i put on weight. who cares man. anw i'm used to all that.

saw many many many people i know on the plane and i'm quite glad haha. i kind of had world war five on my way back. quek knows why and how. the minute i arrived, you already have to piss me.

Ben's flying to Aus tmr and idk when i'll see him again :( anw thanks Ben for everything during the short break from cruelty haha. That's your term and i'm borrowing it. I rly had fun and i'll miss the let's-go-eat-again offer. and and when you laughed so hard you almost fell into the pool gosh will miss it man. have fun in aus and haha yeah, see you.

okaybye. i'm in the process of finding my true self HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Bullet for my valentine

I'm so sorry.

Yep, i apologised the moment this box appeared. That goes to myself and everyone. Uh, i've been telling myself to stay away from troubles and things, but i kept falling myself into them. Idk. I feel really bad for myself, and people ard me.

Damn do you ever come across this feeling. this feeling i'm feeling that feels like no feeling. okay crap. yes have you ever. i bet you never. Idk. uh. whatever.

i need to place to throw and spill everything but i guess this blog isn't appropriate. ohmygod why. can you go away from my life.

the feeling of not being appreciated hurts more than appendix.

I finally decided on typing all these out. Maybe just to make me feel better.

This is 2009 and everybody knows that. amd every 16 years old in the whole entire world knows that we're taking this bloody o level. and its inevitable. and this important exam is going to be my first priority this year. at least, for this year. I'm so sorry. But i don't want any distractions this year, be it something pleasant or unpleasant. You can't guarantee that you'll give me a rainbowy coloured results, and its cruel, but yes o level is more important than anything including, you. I'm so sorry but i hope you can understand. This is a very tough decision but i have to make it. I'm deeply sorry.

I don't even know when and how i can feel truly happy. Why is life so depressing and hard-to-handle nowadays? If i used to adore adulthood, i think i was absolutely wrong. Now i want to remain as a child. When i cared of nothing except playing with toys. That is actually the best part of life, at least to me. Idk about you.

Sigh. I can't stop sighing. Despite all the joy and fun i had, when reality kicks in, everything will come to place and i will see the true colour of the world again. Oh my god. I just hope that Mars is livable.

Coward

OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD

Dad just permit the license to go to Australiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yayyy omg i'm so happy.

Yay at least i can see where it's going. Monash, most probably. My dream college. *0*

andandand STEF, cheer up okaaaay.

love you a million and that person is a piece of shit.

and shit, if you ever read this, please stop hurting her cz she's too good for it. 

so if you ever do that again, i'll be the first person to roast you alive i'm not kidding okay.

you better hush hush. i thought you won't do that. 

hshh, all type in the same species, are the similar. Different but similar.

Jerk.

Only you

YO peopleeeeeeeeee life's more than good there, which is better haha.

I'm so happy i'm leading a life. 

So, went with Sherly to the airport, the journey was quite adventurous 

Lazy to elaborate la huh.

Then after brunch went to Johnson to meet Junia cz she's having tuition so i joined the noise and lesson. :D

After that we hit Sun Plaza and we bought many things. Okay she bought a lot. &i spent a lot.

Then just now, i went to again with Jun and now to market. heehee we bought a lot too. okay today i bought more.

We squeezed through the crowd, sweat like river, and shout here shout there.

ha ha i miss that. the pleasure of bargaining. its been long since i practiced my bargaining skill.

So after that i went to pick Ben up and he looked so much older, since the last time i saw him, which was only weeks before.

He seemed to grow taller, although he wasn't. and then we ate and home.

I just came back from supper with him. it was quite depressing actually.

he didn't have dinner cz he overslept and his family left him at home haha so pathetic man.

so at first we went to eat, then toured around the town, and eat again.

cz i was texting agnes as we ate so he kinda get frustated by my message ringtone and grumbled like old man.

and agnes said something and i showed him and we laughed like vampires. ahahaha 

i feel like polar bear and he looked like eating monster. haha but i had fun cz i can eat as much as i want without worrying

cz he simply doesnt care of the amount i ate. that's what i call being comfortable.

and now i'm still unsure of what i should wear on monday.

i actually think pepper is damn cute :P

nothing's forever

I know i just posted few minutes ago but i'm veryyyy bored cz pepper's ignoring me :(
I just came across Win's blog and i saw what was written.
Honestly, i really feel that way too, sometimes. The loneliness.
And i can't help but cry. Worse, i have to cry silently without anyone noticing.

It took me quite a while to understand, what the hell are all this for, and why do they have to always get into my way. Its sickening and ridiculous.

You can say that, people have to be strong, that every problem always has its solution. But do you ever think of how it feels, when you've grown so tired of searching for that solution, you gave up trying? That you've think of all the possible reasons, but yet you're still clueless. People is human. Human is people. Whichever. We're not a robot that can maintain our strong-emotion and hard-feelings every single time. There ought to be times when we're down, when things seemed to be a mess, and the next turn became overly vague.
You can't help it. Even sometimes, expertist can give up.

People are like that. You're annoyed but you miss it. You're pissed but you want more. You're sick of it, but you yearn for it. Haha, i don't understand why either. The grass is always greener on the other side. When you have it, you barely even appreciate, but when it's absent, you seek for it. Funny, eh? But that's human. That's you. That's me. That's us.

Sometimes i find myself complaining too much, criticising almost everything, and expect everything to be the way i want it to be, but then i realise, this globe we're living in doesn't recognise the word, 'perfect'. So nothing's perfect. Nothing's eternal, forever.

But when i learn to loosen up, i realise, things have already turned the other way round. Like, it gets too far, i can't catch up anymore. And back to cycle one, i complain again, realise again, and try again, and again and again and again.

That's why i say i don't believe in the word 'forever'

this seemed to be a post.

Don't ask me why but i think i screwed my maths paper.
Okay fine, what's done is done. Pepper all the way. Haha kidding.

Mom just came online. Die.
My butt hurtsssssssssa idkwhy.
See see. She calls liaoz. i webcamming w/ ben then have to stop. -.-

I'm eating again like a polar bear and Mom starts scolding alrd.
Okay wait, i move away from the camera and then eat haha. omg
but she still finds out. crap the crab.
"I can see your jaw moving"

I'm doneeeeee with packing i'm so happy i'm express like mrt. i can't wait to go back haha so fast hoh its almost cny. i hope pepper's doing fine. pepper again. yes lo pepper.

i SEEMED TO BE ignored. idk why. it SEEMED TO BE weird. because i SEEMED TO BE used to the routine of yes. but i SEEMED TO have to change the habit. i SEEMED TO BE typing crap. this SEEMED TO BE a crap. and lastly, i SEEMED TO BE a girl, walking on what SEEMED TO BE a footpath, carrying what SEEMED TO BE a book.

enough of all the seem to be-s. mom's really impatient ( i was about to use 'annoying' but it SEEMED TO BE impolite) okay stop it candies. she nudged me for ten thousand times already. i'm eating sth which SEEMED TO BE a chocolate. and i'm flying back on what SEEMED TO BE a aeroplane, which will be drive by who SEEMED TO BE a pilot.

okay not funny. you don't get it. but i'm sure dione does.
mom just nudged again. it SEEMED TO BE the time i glued my eyes on what SEEMED TO BE a laptop.mygod. i'm so retarded

stress attack

okay i swear my brain is bursting soon. i'm so tired of doing amaths questions. i think i've done millions of them omg. i wish i had guiyan's brain then i can sleep now. i bet she's doing something else besides maths. omg. i'm so dead i need to go back to amaths. i feel so robotic and lifeless.

dione says, amaths is the only think that can make her cry. hahaha quite true..

eskimos.

no offense but really, i think my roomate should move to the polar region and join the eskimos. she likes to live in the dark so much, and the air-con is freezing my butt out. can't stand it my god i switched the lamp on and she switched it off. i increased the aircon degree and she decreased it. OMG what the hell.

and now she's talking to her friend so loudly and with her chipmunk-voice i feel like kicking her butt. mygod if its not for the sake of consideration i would've shut her mouth up with my socks. and she's talking so loudly can't she talk outside omg i think she hasn't heard of the word, consideration. OMG they're comparing their faces, if they look like chinese, indian, malay or japanese whatever man.

and oh right, now they're discussing whether they should call each other, YeeYee, MinMin, or TinTin. Hilarious man i just laughed so loud called she asked her friend,"Eh, you're a pig right?" OMG idc i just laughed so hard okay candies its ruuude. but can't help it. OKAY she just said, "You and I very funny eh" wth. i wonder what makes her friend understands what she's saying. i don't get it, you see.

okay i'll update you if she said anything funny and weird. i just checked my phone if someone called me so i can join the volume loudness and we can have a mini concert here, see who give up first haha. but unfortunately, mei you ren.

and her laughter is so awkward and forced. okay i'm complaining so much it sucks big time.

miss pepper, nono sparkly eyes! (:

here, a post dedicated just for you. please be honoured huh.
(omg i just edited this post five times) see how much ily

many cheeseballs make tummy full

Yoyozz people i think dione and i took the wrong medicine today idk why. haha we laughed like idiots. we made the grand opening of our tissues and ms syamsudin stared at us. okay not so funny right.



during el lesson, she gave us this proverbs exercise and you know, we changed the proverbs into sth funny. terrible man.. like, catch bradpitt winks, one good deed deserves a treat, no gossip is good news, student should be cute and not pimply, if your shoe smells, wear slippers, make beancurd while the sun is hot, a lonely stona gathers no plants, too many cooks pissed the chef, you scratch my armpit, i scratch your backside, and as snug as a snuggler in a jungle.



all didnt make any sense but dione could laugh until like mad. then during emaths i said, "Dione, you've crossed the border!" then she said," can you attack me please?" and i went on hitting her hand with my calculator. okay crap today is crab. aha and dione you lost my mentos!



i'm gonna make beancurd since the sun is still hot and watch out if brad pitt winks.

anw, the light in my room is disco-ing like novi's so i better go fix it.

Yawn.

Uh its monday day. Monday the mundane. Hate school days nowadays. can i just stay at home.
thank god i'm going back on thrus yay omg so happy. tuan yuan fan! angpaos! waowao.

I'm going to save up from now on to buy smth. smth i've been longing to own. i realise i cant ask everything from my parents and force them to get that for me. i know saving up still means using their money, but its the effort and satisfaction of saving up, that'll make me treasure that thing more than ever.

haha i'm kinda sleepy but i'm stuck with some amaths qnt damn it la why test alrd. i want to die.

mom's scolding me cz i am still online until this late but what to do i cant sleep. i really need to sleep actually. i'm deprived of sleeping.

ben is a gay yay yay (you are)

Because alpha plus beta will give you 'haha'

Yo peopleeeeee!
You know sth, i talked to Novi ytd till about 3.53 am and i was so sleepy just now, i was sleeping when my tutor was busy spilling knowledges. Haha who cares man its chinese anyway.

Chinese, i'm sorry if i condemned you, but you're too hard for me. Why you got so many relatives, then some relatives are twins, some have same character. Wahwah then if your relatives mix together become verrrrry complicated. So sorry chinese, its just simply because your family is too large. Not like english or Indo, only 26 in the family. Haizz. Such a longgg family history.

Yes, after tuition i went to Noviana's intended to study but we ended up having photo taking sessions and haha we did study, no i did. But only for maybe 15 minutes then we stopped and talked about anything else which are way more interesting than Amaths. Omg sorry i'm condemning Amaths because again, Amaths has too many friends, and why do i hv to know its friend's cousins and daughters and sons and nieces omg.

Yes haha we had a g8 time laughing, rolling, screaming and stuffs. Andandand tuition was like, cancelled so we went to eat at KFC (again) omg i'm so sick of KFC i tell you. Then went to Shaw Plaza and blablabla.

Then what else. Oh yes i forget to say. You know ytd, when Egg, Stef, Frerry and I were taking retarded pics, we saw so many stars. it was so beautiful and the moment to die for mygod if only i were with my bf. my god i tell you they looked so unexplanable and only by looking @ the stars could calm me down. the feeling was miraculous. they were so pretty okay idk just so, well-put. Wah if only i get to hold them. if only i got stars all around my room, (not pinks) woah.

I didn't know, looking at the stars can be so impactful. And heehee heehee i'm selling off this secret huh. Egg and Frerry were pointing at the stars together heehee. me and stef agreed they looked cute together heehee. that moment was snapped!! haaha

okayyyyy thankyou nov i had g8 time with you today. yes such a blessed weekend.




they were what we bought

i was choosing between teddy or marshmallow

idk what la

for the sake of insanity

that was hard, hahaa

Heehee so cute righttt

lurb euuuu

love this pic

this was because i forgot to set the self-timer

Duri racun

I want so much to ask you why aren't you asleep yet.
Or what are you doing.

Oh man, i deserve a tight slap.

Feel the joy.

We were supposed to act cool haha

In the water~~

I seriously love them

There's sth wrong with frerry's lips

Stef the sexyzzBlessing in disguise

Agnes was telling stef,"I think Candies is really cute!" HAHAHA

She looked like she's advertising Prata House

So cutee hoh

Hi people. I had fun today. Always full of laughter. Yay. I'm so tired now i think i'm going to sleep now. For the sake of my eyes. Pity my eyes.

Caught Passengers. I didn't quite understand the movie and slept awhile until frerry waved infront of my face. My eyes are closing so yes la like that blablabla

Met Stef for prata house and off we went took many pictures while waiting for the slow 163 and then people @ the bus stop kept staring at us haha funny loh. I'm watching mr monk i'm dead la now still can watch.

okay then went back to trellis we took many pictures as you can see. until the stupid security guard came and she was so annoying we wanted to push her into the pool.

I'm really yawning almost every seconds and my jaw is tired so byebye