Till the end of the time,

Brenda just called me boss. Haahaha

Candies. says (7:56 PM):
why you not out?
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (7:56 PM):
at my grandma's place boss. HAHAH

She's so cute i think i miss her. Please dont tell her if not, wah jialat. I think Stef, Agnes and Frerry have this ties. They are coming back on the 4th. All together! Haha okay fine i'm so jealous but yes. But its okay I'm coming back early cz i can meet the girls sooner and Mom's still here.

Went to PS to meet MMDH haha. Omg its gonna be New Year soon. I was half-hoping i can spend NY with pepper but funny heh i'm so naive. Nobody is online now so i guess everybody has a plan for countdown.

Okay why am i still at home i should go and bathe now. bye.

When nights were clear, you're the first star that i'd see

you so cute

Messages are private.
And I never consent anyone to view my messages.
So you know you are crossing the line.

I changed my blogskin and i cant find a nice onee
so i put this blogskin heh I'm so angry.
I sprained my neck, my ankle hurts so badly.

And Sherly is on the plane to Japan; good life huh.
I'm so curious. Why was the colorful one has to be painted black and white over.
Okay you may nawt understand but I'm trying so hard here.

Have you figured out what that letters mean?
The answer is my title.

I miss Quek Huei Min and pepper
I feel like slapping pepper.

There are so many things that i want you to know

All Out Of Love-Air Supply

I am lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too
but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

CHORUS
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say thatI was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights'
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh, so right

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on?
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day

Please love me or I'll be gone,
I'll be goneI'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Ooh, what are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
what are you thinking of I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you

I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong



I need to jot down my list soon. Many lists. Homework lists, time lists, arrival lists (; , shopping lists, and yeah many more.

Mom's going back on 1st Jan I'm so sadd. So-o sad. Time flies so fast. I hope time passes slower. Amen.

Please stop acting as if I'm begging you okay. It's annoying. And don't be too confident. You're not the best anymore, to me. I just got sick of you after everything.

You dumb, egoistic, used-to-be-cute idiot.

Be Strong, Lady

Iam sleeping on the bed talking to Mom.
We talked about grandma

My grandma was a stong woman
I'm going to be like her.
Be a strong woman.

Monkeys i'm back and i'm in Sg now.
Today was packing day and i'm all tired and dehydrated.
Bye owh

paracetamol

Hey people. I'm spending my few last hours in Medan you know, i'm damn sad. Good things Mom's going with me or else i'll be crying river of blood heehee. That'll be good because Edward will come and drink my blood, i'll get to see him! Haha okay. Mandy is stupid. Haha okay. Joking mantou.

I miss Jamie. As in the chopstick jamie. Heheh i will paint my nail hot red and shocking pink so she'll catch me and i can hug her(!!). pepper would laugh everytime i talk abt jamie. okay crap go away. haha

I envy everyone like Stef, Agnes, Sherly, Jess and etc who are going back to Sg only on 4th of Jan. Means yeah damn great :( A few more days to NY. When the clock strikes from 11.59.59 to 12.00.00 in 31st December, i hope i automatically become amnesia about pepper. So yes, bye

PS: im so sad :(

White pepper

Why did you sleep so early nowadays?
Can't things stay the same as how it used to be?

I really really really really miss the old you.
If you still aren't convinced, then idk what to do.

you dumb egoistic idiot

I
FEEL
LIKE
SLAPPING
YOU
.
Omg just go and die okay, pepper.

head over heels over head

I'm lonely. Brothers are away to Jakarta. I'm alone with Mom and Dad.
2 more days and i'm saying goodbye to Medan.
So fast, huh. How time flies. It's going to be 2009.

Tell you what, i miss pepper.
Sorry if i keep mentioning about this i-miss-you-pepper thingy
but really, where is pepper. I mean the old pepper.
The sometimes retarded but nice pepper.
Pepper. Pepper. Pepper. Pepper.
Ah you are like shit, but i still miss you.

If only i have longer holiday.
Good things i'm not staying in that same room anymore.
Or else memories won't fade.
Aiyah what i'm saying. Everything's gonna be alright.

christmas merry

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!
HI.
went out again ytd.
Haha did shopping again.
(hope Mom won't scream when the bills come)

Hey pepper.
How are you nowadays?
Its been quite awhile, huh.
Merry Christmas to you.
I still miss you. Still alot.

I woke up this morning, found quite a number of wishes,
but none was from you.

Where are you? Are you in church now?

Fanpire :)

"You're impossible," he said, and laughed once--a hard laugh, frusated. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here and i love you. I have always love you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that i was away. When i told you that i didn't want you, that was the blackest knd of blasphemy."
Edward Cullen, New Moon.

About three things i was absolutely positive about;
First, Edward is a vampire
Second, there was part of him, i didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thristed for my blood.
and Third, I'm unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
Bella Swan, Twilight

If there were any way for me to become human for you, no matter what the price was, i would pay it.
Edward Cullen, Twilight

I don't want to hear that you feel that way. It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella - please, grasp that.
Edward Cullen, Twilight

I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that! As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off.
Edward Cullen

Sometimes it seems like you're trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else.
Bella Swan

My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him.
Bella Swan

I was that boy, who would have gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations.
Edward Cullen, Eclipse

The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an eclipse.
Jacob Black, Eclipse

Kill the mocking birds,

I'mz soz sleepyz nowz yeahz i'mz dyingz canz youz imaginez typingz withz myz eyez halfz closedz? Hahaha. Okay i forced my eyes open (i typed eyes as heart just now)

Anw, Junia came and curled my hair. We both agreed that i looked like Medusa. went out with her,, did xmas shopping. Ate @ Sunday Cafe. The atmosphere was romantic. I could sense that she'd rather spend her time with her to-be boyfriend. Haha she's so cute. One more last meeting w/ her. I'm so sad. Life's better w/ her and the shopping. :D (i haven't get her anything y'know) Sorry Jun D:

Bought cake for Mom as ytd was Mother's Day. She was so happy and i felt so, so good. Being such a demanding daughter since the day i was born (now i rmb born don't come with -ed) and not such a proud for her, only these small things could make her so happy. I doubt i can be such a loving mother next time.

I also bought my brother a wallet since his bday is coming. Coolz walletz. Ripcurl. Hope that he'll

like it. I have yet to buy someone's gift. I have no idea what to get for that monkey.

Just came back from dinner. @ Wisma Benteng. So filling. Yum yum (haha agnes) Rmb the yum yum thing? We rolled on the floor laughing over that matter. Then i told Dad something that made him spilled his beer.

Me: Dad, when i get married i want to marry here (in Benteng).

Ykw, saw Kelvin Tionardi on Sunday. Heehee reminded me of Tukul.

Then what else, urm. Yes, i want to get married. Hahahaha Junia said when she got married, i'll be the bridesmaid. Then i say when i got married, her daughter will be my flower girl. :) such an early plan. Its still many years ahead.

I seriously think i've missed so much about mandy dione mel and hueimin. Like, i haven't been talking to them for ages. I miss you guys eh. My pepper consultant. My mrs pig. My stripey wife. My retarded tuition mate. Gawhawraw i'm going to see them soon.

Sometimes if you ask me which place i prefer, i really can't choose. Like, when i'm in Sg, then i'm going back to Medan, i'll keep groaning and say i don't want to go back. But when I'm in Medan and like now, going back to Sg, i'll say i don't feel like going back. Because seeing someone means missing the other one. Furthermore, there's really nothing awaits me there, unlike what i thought couple of months before. That's fat hope, uh.

AND TO WHOEVER IS SAD NOW, AND FEEL DEMORALIZED, OR HEART-TORN, OR TEARFUL, OR FRUSTATED, NO MATTER WHAT, DON'T BE! BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORTH IT. YOUR WORRIES YOUR CRY YOUR TIME YOUR ENERGY YOUR MIND YOUR CONCENTRATION. APOLOGIZE IF YOU THINK YOU'RE WRONG. IGNORE IF YOU THINK ITS IRRITATING. AND HECK CARE IF ITS HURTFUL!

I'm surprised i have such a patience to wait til all the photos are uploaded. *claps*

PS: the one in blue is edited.

PS2: i miss you eh.

PS3: my phone is three days old and it already has scratches.

PS4: whatthehell i'm in love with the driving guy heh heh.

PS5: i have yet to pack my luggage

PS6: imagine life without love. argh

PS7: PS6 is currently my msn pm
PS8: don't you think i'm a lil bet retarded?

surga ada di telapak kaki ibu

HAPPY

MOTHER'S

DAY!!

To Mommy and Moms all around Indonesia.

Mommy i love you.
Don't need to say, i know how much you love your children.

I've got the best Mom in the world. I can't ask for more.

Hocus Pocus Locus

Soooooooo, life has been pretty good nowadays. Yeah this weekend maybe can be considered the best weekend throughtout my stay here. Well, actually i can't compare it that way.

I've got my Blackberry curve yesterday, yes i'm over the mars. Haha i finally got it i feel so blessed. Then went out with Christine and her friend (sorry i forget your name) and we went around 'hunting' for stuffs. Then went home and came back again at around 9pm, it was sooper crowded. SUPER. Like, i've never seen SUN that crowded before. So so so many people. Sherly was stucked at the parking lot for a damn two hours.

Haha everyone felt so cheated cz it wasn't exactly 80%, only 20-30%, some 40%. But i don't feel so because i bought sooo many things and i'm so happy. Some shops even had to closed its door and people have to wait for the queue to go in. Wth, its not like they are giving away their clothes free. You still have to pay. Okay cut the crap.
Bottom line ; I'm satisfied :DDD

I watched a documentary just now. Well its not really documentary, but its filming this really poor family, they sell honey. For three months, they earned less then 15bucks. Its really heart-wrenching. I felt so doleful, and i wished, if only i can contribute some of my privileges for them so that they can live a better life.

It made me think, i live such a privileged life, and even sometimes i still can mourn for more. I thought i need more pocket money. I thought i need to buy more things to satisfy my wants. Then i realised i'm such a selfish person. I'm never satisfied with all i have, and yet there are so many people out there, fighting with time, with hunger, with thrist, just so they can see the sun rise the next day.

I was disgusted by them, doing dirty and tiring work. Little did i know, they're choiceless. No one wants to live that way. Everyone wants to enjoy life, but i complained about how cruel life is to me. Life is cruel to them. They should be the one complaining. I have such a narrow heart.

Glad i watched that documentary and glad that i opened my eyes.

Laugh like a chipmunk

You can always talk to me.

Thank you B haha yes, you're right i still have my friends.
Its not the end yet, :)
I felt good talking to you. Good be big-headed
but you're an understanding friend.
Thank you for your willingness listening to my long and endless thoughts.

I'm so hardworking yesterday idk whats up with myself.
I did holiday homework and it was my first time touching my homeworks.
I slept at 3am doing them and its still incomplete.

Btwbtwbtw, Sherly said that, Sun is having a big BIG BIG sale tmr.
The wholeeeeeee MALL is on 80% discount.
But its a midnight sale so it kinda from 9-12pm.
I'm going there in the afternoon to do hunting first, then i'll grab them at night.
Good plan, huh.

Bye

oxymoron

Oh freak. You're getting weirder each freaking day.
But still, i miss you

When circumstance gets a lil bit tense

I have to speed up my typing because my brother wants to use the computer and in any seconds, he will just scream at me!

Hahaha okay. Met Junia just now and oh yeah! I've passed the driving lesson! And i'm able to drive now YAY but no license aka, SAME SAME! :D I'm moving to Stef's and Frerry's hostel Hahaha but (!!) yaya i've to tell olivia this. SOON. Bet she'll scream and curse.

One more thing, I'm getting my Blackberry tomorrow i'm so happy Dad finally allowed. Ohmygod i'm ecstatic. Overjoyed. Euphoric. Whatever.

I
am
so
happy
that
i
can
just
kiss
anyone's
backside!
HAHA

PS/ I miss you.

Because you are my pillar of strength

Ha ha ha ha. Everything went wrong ytd.
But it was really out of my control, and i am deeply sorry for that.
I'm sorry i'm such a mess.
I don't deserve this. Why can't you be angry? Please.
It aches to just think of you, so unselfish. Unlike me.
I promise i won't do it again, and yes, promise.

I finished reading Eclipse. I feel accomplished.
Everything is screwed apart from that.
I think only reading makes me forget everything.
Oh God, i need a break.
I was about to wish God turned me into a bird but i realised its a silly thought.

When December is the month, everybody should be happy w/ themselves
and people can't wait for the year exchange. Well, me too. Or at least i think i am.
"You fall, so you can learn how to stand"
That'd be my motivation sentence from now on.

I'm so sorry i have been blogging dully, boringly, and mellow-ly.
I just have nowhere else to pour. I can't talk to anyone.
Because everyone just feels so far away from me,
no matter how hard i try to catch up, i can't reach them.

ARGH ARGH ARGH because of one freaking person, my life's so ruined.
(damn, will you just stop screaming!)
My defence is about to fall.

Life goes on, young lady.

I had my driving lesson just now and its still as disastrous. I wasn't concentrating at all, and i almost crashed onto a sports car. Idk how much i'd be asked to pay if i didn't stop the car immediately. And soon after, i almost drove the car onto the pedestrian walk.

Idk what's going on with me from ytd. Grr, and my day just went by like that. Maybe going out with Junia on Thrusday. Both of us didn't sound as enthuastic as we should. I need to run upstairs now, to the rooftop and scream. I think my head and just explode anytime soon. D:

I suddenly don't feel like blogging anymore cz i can't see my typing clearly alrd. Till then,

:(

I FEEL SO DEMORALIZED

I wake up super early today whats wrongg

Apparently i can't see my keyboard now cz its dark and i'm not using laptop so im guessing all the alphabets, forgive me if i mispell any word hoh. Hehehe.

I surprisingly woke up early today. Its only ten now, haha and i can hear Mom screaming downstairs cz she's busy preparing for Don's bday party. (Junia you better make it here or hehe you'll see)

Good news; i found my camera charger which i thought was lost hehe. I'm so happy.
Mom's room is like Doreemon's pocket. I always find my missing stuffs here. :)))))))
I think i'm suffering from obssessive packing disorder.
I packed all my clothes and put em in the luggage, then feeling unsatisfied, i took them out again and placed them in the wardrobe again. And today i wake up so early. Idk whats wrong with me. Told ya my brain works funnily weirdly and unexpectedly today.

I suddenly remembered smth and i suddenly dont feel like blogging. bye

When the clock stops ticking somehow. Its just the both of us.

WASSUP i'm super full right now. Hahahaha i rmb my msn icon for super is like so cute.
And 'heehee'. It looks like me, in some way haha.

Yoyo. (this one is irritating haha)
Idk what's wrong with my brain today its just weird, the way i think today.

So, went out with Junia today again.
And i bought that dress! The dress i talked about ytd. I'm so happy i can jump around the estate and everyone will laugh @ me. Then before that we had brunch @ Seoul Garden. Who say Seoul Garden is shitty. Slap whoever said that. But i heard someone sitting over at next table said something like, "People say Medan's Seoul Garden is better than Singapore's." Then i automatically responded, "True..True.." Haha i feel like laughing at myself, how i suddenly interrupt their conversation.

I forgot the rest of the time, what we did. Simply walking around, and since she didn't have the mood to shop today, she only bought cute clips. They are damn cute, there was one froggy clip, which reminded me of Pearly Lim. Hahahaha. Okay.

This www.blockingyou.com thingy keeps popping out. I feel like eating them up.
Pop up again. There are five.

I found my camera finally finally i'm so happy. Haha i miss MJ and NMC and AS walao. So long liaozz never see them. But i dont feel like going back to Sg leh. How? The time will eventually come la. So i'm just enjoying my time here, while i can. I don't want to remind myself that i'll face piles of books next year :(((

I have zero rupiah right now. Absolutely no money. I'm so broke. I'm so dead. I just withdrew ytd i can't withdraw again rightzzz Mom's super strict when it comes to my spending, esp here. How? I have yet to buy that gorgeous overknee socks. Haizz. I know it can't be gorgeous any further but its still gorgeous okayokayokay... I'm dreaming of it can you imagine.

This is why i hate to update photos. Because its suuuuuuuuuuper slow here. Its getting on my nerves. Nobody is online. I feel like dying. But its okay. I'm crapping right now cz i'm waiting for the photos to upload. Btw, my facebook is accessible now. :)

Thankyou for the care.
The care anyone would willingly die for.

Redox Detox Pemox Haah

I want to fart so much now okay but i'm trying hard to stop it from coming out or else Mom can jus faint. Haahaha because i farted once and she couldn't stop screaming at me. -.-

I just realised i don't have my archives here so sad hoh. Actually i wanted to review my previous posts. To see how i-thought-i-had-a-good-life-but-actually-pathetic life i'd went through. And how naive all my posts have been. But too bad. Maybe there's a reason why i cant review them.

Anw, i'm so sleepy i need to sleep and farttttttttttttt omg please. hahaha (dirty i know)

Rexona- Steia Setiap Saat.

My right eye is swolen i'm so pissed. Junia teased me about that. Haizzzzzz.
I can't log in to my facebook idk why.
I am absolutely sure that its still the old password.
Still something to do with pepper. Okay.
Hahahahah btw, i haven't been mentioning pepper for quite some posts already,
usually every post has at least one pepper word.

W
O
W

its an achievement at least i dont think so much liao.
Good
Good Good
Good Good Good

The changcuters is performing. Haha although many people dont like them but i like!
RACUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Eating papayas consuming drugs.

Heyyyyyyyy peoplee i'm super happy right now.

1. Junia Kok is here.
2. She bought me my Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Really love her.
3. We went shopping and went crazy.
4. I feel alive, after such a long time. It has been a hectic one nowadays.
5. And we were back to the old times and no more 'i miss you'

You asked me how tough i am,
I don't really know, if you ask me to measure from the normal humanity scalar, give it a question mark Haha.
And btw, my words are the smallest text now bcz i'm afraid my parents may peep. Esp Dad!! He loves to peep la.

What else what else. Oh i'm still not done shopping for xmas gifts. Some are settled but i just don't know what to get for some people haha. I know Dione and Quek need a Mr Perfect. Haha and i miss AS so so so so so so so much. Also pentolanzz's wife heheheh. Then also stripey's wife. Also Ben. Haiyaaaaa. Hope he's doing fine. Hope everyone is fine. Hope the world will be a better place to live on. Hope that i'll find my eternal happiness, even though i'm don't quite believe it is true haha. But i got nothing to lose. Like what hueimin said :)

I have tuition tmr. Okay actually tuition is not so bad and frustating and demanding since we almost always busy talking about twilight Haha. And imagine, in two and half hours, i only did around 7 qnts. Fantasic, eh? Maybe this is what i call, 'Enjoy-and-relax-tuition.' Okay why am i discussing about tuition.

I guess my life for the weekend is worth waiting for. Idk how to say but i'm really looking forward for tmr. I'm gg out with Junia the kaypoh again and i think i'm getting the dress i was eyeing on. Hehehehe and maybe i want to get the overknee length socks too! And also the scarf. Hahahahaha i bet dione's nosehole will be open close open close big small big small and her ears will produce a mini-hurricane, if she reads this Hahahaha.

Wait wait wait. I'm really sorry because idk what to get for you guys' xmas gift, mandy dione mel hueimin stefanie brenda please tell me what you guys want. Others are settled :))))))) Gahahaha i feel like santa claus. And Mom changed the house theme into ringbells, stars, balls, presents, typical-christmas-trees. And now i feel like living in Antartica. I will ask her to remove the tree. Its needle-like leaves which 'supposed' to reduce the loss of moist through transpiration during winter, keeps poking my face. Excuse my clumsiness banging onto it but its because of the gigantic size. I'll got it removed no matter what.

I blogged long enough. Hope you dont fall asleep.
Because this skin dont show the date and time, i'll write it here.


If only the moon could speak. It would've told you everything.


Medan,
Friday 12/12/2008 (the day when the earth stood still HAHA)
10:05 PM

killing hello kitty

People. I finally change my blogskin.
I don't really like it though, but it the best so far.
So, no more complaints for my unseen tagboard hoh!!

I've finally found my son (HAHA) oh lost it again cz i fell asleep. But i can hear his cry.

That is probably the longest and crappiest title ever Hahahahaha.
Anw btw highway, my orders are hereeeee i'm so happy its here, right in front of me. :*

You know what, Dione Seah is really funny.
I asked her to help me check if Eclipse is still available in Kino.
Then she thought its Eclipse mints as in the sweet Eclipse. And she said something like,
"Walao i thought you weirdo or sth your eclipse mints must come from Orchard road.'
I laughed sooo loud, Mom glared at me Hahaaa dione but that was an entertainment in the midst of my frustation.

Junia will be here soon!!!!!!!!!!
(I wanted to put more !! but it kinda look retarded) I'm so proud of her so went against her sister! I know is bad advice but nothing stops us!!!!!

Don's birthday is on Sat but he's celebrating it on Sunday. Hope it'll be a blast. But since its a child's bday party, i don't see how it can be that blasting rightrightright.
But the main thing is, they are all coming. Gooddddddd.

( errr, what ah?) omg your favourite quote.

I need new brain. I just realised i havent bathe okay and i feel really humid 'whatever'(your word) Tmr is the last day of my driving lesson. I'm still bad at it. Ah, you're away, if not you can teach me rightrightright. btw that previous you and that you is different one hoh. Its okay if you dont understand.

I miss Monica Johan. And i'm jealous of her, cz she got her Blackberry. And now in HK. AH, lucky woman.

Namaku MARVEL

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard

I'm supeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer pissed right now.
Super super super pissed.
Ergh.

Things aren't the same anymore. No matter how hard i try to maintain.
I'm freaking pissed i can just smack down anything including you.
Uufortunately you're thousand miles away.
If not, i make sure you're no different than roasted pork.

is today still a gift?

I'm going to blog in INDO!

Apakah ada yang tau bagaimana rasanya mencintai seseorang yang tak boleh dicintai? Aku tahu.

Aku memang baru mengenalnya, tapi rasanya aku sudah mengenalnya seumur hidup. Dan tiba tiba saja aku sadar dia telah menjadi bagian yang sangat penting dalam hidupku.

Aku pertama bertemu dengannya di 'sangkar' sekolah, dimana aku sedang mengobrol dengan seorang teman, dan dia melangkah keluar dari sebuah ruangan, menutup pintu, seakan tidak memerdulikan sekeliling nya, melangkah keluar. Aku seakan disihir. Seorang teman memberitahuku namanya dan dari sana-lah, semuanya bermula.

Saat itu juga aku mencoba keberuntunganku. Kami berkenalan, dan tanpa sadar, permasalahan bertambah rumit, karena seakan berjalannya waktu, perasaan ini tumbuh. Dia unik dan blak-blakan. Dia kadang baik tapi kadang judes dan menyebalkan. Dia angkuh. Tapi itu yang aku kagumi dari dirinya.

Hidup ini sungguh aneh, juga tidak adil. Suatu kali hidup melambungkan mu tinggi ke langit, kali lainnya hidup mengempaskanmu begitu keras ke bumi. Ketika aku menyadari dialah satu-satunya yang paling kubutuhkan dalam hidup ini, kenyataan berterak di telingaku dia juga satu-satunya orang yang tidak boleh kudapatkan. Kata-kataku mungkin terdengar tidak masuk akal, tetapi percayalah, aku ingin bersamanya. Tetapi apakah manusia bisa mengubah kenyataan?

Satu-satunya yang bisa kulakukan sekarang adalah keluar dari hidupnya. Aku tidak akan melupakan dirinya, tetapi aku harus melupakan perasaanku padanya walaupun itu berarti aku harus menghabiskan sisa hidupku mencoba melakukannya. Pasti butuh waktu lama sebelum aku bisa menatapnya tanpa merasakan apa yang kurasakan setiap kali aku melihatnya. Mungkin suatu hari nanti-aku tidak tahu kapan-rasa sakit ini akan hilang dan saat itu, kami baru akan bertemu kembali; atau mungkin, tak akan pernah bertemu kembali.

Seandainya masih ada harapan-sekecil apapun itu-untuk mengubah kenyataan, aku bersedia menggantungkan seluruh hidupku pada harapan itu.

Sekarang... Saat ini saja... Untuk beberapa detik saja... aku ingin bersikap egois. Aku ingin melupakan semua orang, dan mengabaikan dunia. Tanpa beban, tuntutan, ataupun harapan, aku ingin mengakui.
Aku mencintainya.

let me feel you in my vein.

I sprained my ankle. *_*
Because i fell thrice during our trip to Mickie Funland. :/
Heehee.

Today marks the first year of Grandma's death.
Omg i miss her so much, time flies so fast she's gone for a year alrd.

I get pretty much pissed, because i searched around town for the freaking Eclipse book but i can't find the English version one and the Indo version one sounds very retarded and formal. Ee i don't like. & as always, Junia my saviour promised that she'll buy it for me. She'll be here by this Friday and we're going out, i'm so xciteddddddd gahaaaaa.

I'm back to that old obssession again and i think everything i've been doing these times, its quite like an 'alibi'. Just to convince myself that i can make it. I thought i can handle it with ease, but it isn't as simple as that. And idk if i can work harder, because i think i tried hard enough. At night, when i lie on my bed, staring at 'that' photos, old memories rushed in.

Maybe its best if there's an explanation

Drink cows blood

Peopleeee i'm listening to the thunder by boyslikegirls.
Hehe Junia is coming oh hehehe i'm so pissed, erm no i mean pleased. Haha.
Excited. Excited. With her hoh, no ending gossip session, non-stop shopping, and no time without laughing. I'm so glad she's almost here. :):):):):):):)

Its gonna be fun since i've missed her since months, the last time i saw her and the last time we went out, we did major shopping(!!) and i promised her to drive her around the town until we get lost, which is majorly possible.

Ohmyohmy quek is here! She's so cute. Haha pancake.
I'll be away till Monday. Break from computer. Its sickening.

Back(w)ide flower

Candies says (12:29 AM):
I AM SO IRRITATED BY PEOPLE WHO HAS (F) AS THEIR NICK YOU KNOW
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:29 AM):
DONT KILL PEOPLE LAH
Candies says (12:30 AM):
HAHA
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
LIKE MINE?
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
HAHAHAHAHHAHAA
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
;;)

Candies says (12:30 AM):
HAHA
Candies says (12:30 AM):
I DONT MEAN PM
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks says (12:30 AM):
HAHAHAAHA. OH FINE
Candies says (12:30 AM):
I MEAN (F)SinisterMorphine
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
WOO
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
OH
Candies says (12:31 AM):
NOT BEHING
Candies says (12:31 AM):
IN FRONT
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
I PUT IT AT MY BACKWIDE
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
BACKSIDE*
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
HAHAHA
Candies says (12:31 AM):
haha
Candies says (12:31 AM):
I'M GNA PUT THIS ON MY BLOG
Candies says (12:31 AM):
FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW YOU BULLY ME
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
:-O
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:31 AM):
WAHH EMBARRASSS ME ONLY

Candies says (12:33 AM):
i looks like 'f'
Candies says (12:33 AM):
just it comes out as flower
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:33 AM):
HAHAHAHAHA.
SinisterMorphine; corpses fill these sidewalks(F) says (12:34 AM):
more like dead flower xD


Idk why we were chatting in caps its just some 'trying-to-annoy-me' attempts she always does. Grrrr brenda has a flower on her back(w)ide Haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAYMOND SURYA!!!! :D
mas lu kapan ke sg sih?

Hey. I didn't drive today cz of Mom. >.<
So went to watch Twilight w/ Sherly and Cindy.
I think this is third time alrd. D: i just love the movie.
And since watching here is like so cheap, why not make useeeeeeeeee.

Christmas is coming heehee it means something to me heehee huehehe. Its gonna be exciting and i miss when you came knocking my balcony door at night and kidnapped me for a supper haha. You're like, so daring. No, i was saying, you're like a santa. Came through the chimney HUAHAHHA.
Idk what else to blog Mon is not here and and and i have nobody to talk to bcuz stef is ignoring me haha i know she's talking to pentolanzzzz. & tmr i'm going to Brastagi Hillpark i'm gna ride the roller coaster.
Its gna be the sixth now.


Okay bye i'm gna try on something

Yawning lizards

Can you see my naughty looking brother who calls me K********* now?

Don took this.

Taa-daaa!

Hey i was trying on the camera and yes it worked!

I looked pretty dumb here

Watched Street Kings ytd. It was quite a nice movie. But too much vulgarities. Its like, every minutes at least there were 3 'f's. Wth.

Then at night watched Twilight again. I can't get bored of that movie you know. Its like, (!!)

Today was quite an exciting one. Had tuition as usual, then i went to learn driving. God its so cool but i'm still terrible at it. I'm a terrible driver :O But its okay. Another session tmr. Pray.

Went to Taipan after that because Piaget held an End Year Concert. No comment. Idk how to describe the concert. Perhaps, cute? Haha told you idk how to describe. Yes then i'm home now. I have few pictures but i think next time huh. and Junia is back in a week's time

Three Cheers for TUKUL who's back!!!!! :D

You looked so cute when you were confused. :P

Why does today have to end?

When you can live forever,
what do you live for?

You know the thing is that,
i'm really proud of myself, you see.
this is maybe, supposed to be my period of frustation, depression, and maybe a tough one.
But i'm glad i could pull it through (:

Idk what makes me this strong and this care less.
But i find myslef less worrying, less thinking, less crying.
Its good though, with all the things right now. I'm a strong one.
But i think i need to thank someone, who has been with me all the time i need.
(no name mentioned :X you guys should know who) Thanks ;)

Believe me, its totally effortless.
Sometimes, i make myself thinking about it and seeing from how thing goes,
its pretty well managable.

I watched Twilight just now. Its really well put. I mean, the story line, the setting, the eyes (Edward's) omg i could die just looking at his really 'killing' look. The way he looked at Bella, the way the camera captures his eyes, the way he talked, the way he held Bella's neck and whispered at her. How i wish i have a vampire boyfriend, as gorgeous as Edward Cullen. Haha okay this is getting nowhere. I bet Brenda is jealous! Haha and you know Jacob and James looked really gross. Jacob looked like, (ahem) Tarzan. Haaha. I love the movie. But the book is still better.

Okay enough of movie review. You know, there's just something that happened when you walked into the room. Woah i can't tell you how fast my heart was beating. Its both slower and faster. I'm crapping people dont bother. and Btw, i still can't find my phone and sim card. I'm so dead.

The thing with love, its fascinating. Ahh,

With you, nothing is ever impossible.
God planned all these for us already.
Thanks, you are so much help to me. Much more than i need.

I just logged in to my blogger suddenly and they showed this ranting space i have nothing to rant. Idk how to rant my days. Hehehehe. Too happy to be true. I just don't want to go back. Can i dont go back. Heh STOP DISTURBING ME OKAY!!

Sayangku

hey people i went to sun just now w/ a little biunique little christine hahahahahahahhaha and we did prank-calling. called and scolded people and we couldn't stop laughing haha so fun and when we had nothing else to say, we kept repeating those scolding words and the pranked person keep repeating hers as well. Haha and she covered her mouth while talking and i didn't and haha i snapped the phone from her and screamed at the speaker i think everyone looked at us. you know la my voice hehe.

Then went Oke Suki to eat steamboat hehe nice nice nice. Tmr tuition i feel like slapping myself i havent do my tuition homework hokay ergh shit la candies!!!

Mon told me that she loves reading her archive. I'm the opposite. Because reading my archives means bringing me back to the days when i was head over heels w/ pepper. EW. No thanks Haha. I only looked at the archive of one day. Hehe oneeeeeeeeeee day.

HEHEHEHE BYE.

Ps/ you looked so cute when you're driving. :P

If your decision is the one which is going to be used, why ask my opinion?
If you think i have to live the way you want, why ask me what i want to become?

Why can't i make my own decision? I'm old enough. 15. not five.
Not freaking five years old OKAY!

Ayam goreng

Hey.
How i wish i can tell you what i'm feeling now and the problems i'm facing. Ohmygod where are the old you can't things stay the same? Can't i at least know why? But i'm getting used to it. Maybe this is the consequence of being your friend, huh?

Mom called my guardian ytd and she informed Mom that, she'll move me to 4th floor with, eek, i dont want to mention. I said i want to move but its not gonna be easy because i wanted to move to Stef's hostel but my guardian kinda said something that made Mom hesitate. I feel like s****** her! Wth and Sherly offered me her hostel its quite okay lah but still, i prefer Trellis because i'm so used to the environment and how about my tuitions? And i have to adapt with new house everything and far from Toapayoh. Its Serangoon. Argh i tried to beg Mom but she sticks with her decision. i'm so depressed. :@

Oh its raining and its getting heavier.

Twilight is screened already but its midnight heeh hate you la Sun 21 why midnight not afternoon. Grr i'm too angry to blog already byebye

Noisy chickens

Hey. Sometimes i'm confused with my name. Candies in English is the plural of candy. So i have to your are. But Candies as in my name, me, is singular, so i have to use is. Then which one to use actually? I'm confused hahaha.

Mom just told me she misses grandma. I miss her too. She said, its very sad huh, people that are gone, we can't see them forever.' But i think, i don't only can't meet people who are dead. But some that are alive, i also can't meet them anymore. For example like him. I may not be able to see him for the rest of my life. I don't know. Maybe he's just a short scene in my life. There are more coming. But is this really going to happen? Can't i see you for the rest of my life already? Who knows. We all don't know when i'm going to die.

It's been quite awhile. I miss you.

Cinta dalam kalung

Helloz i'm bored. Bored. Bored.
Yes finally Monica's online.
I've finished cleaning my room, trust me its tiring.
I should've leave the work for the maid.

Oh yes the new maid came few days ago.
Idk what to say i didn't talk to her.
I hope she remember my face so she won't think i'm a thief when i come back next time.
Hahaha that was old joke so funny.

I gave up doing my homework, which is like, so much.
I use much because its uncountable haha
She didn't even check so why bother.
Tomorrow i have more tuition coming my way

I am so hungry now mygod i've finished two plates of Mee Goreng GOKAR haha the best.
I still can't forget that incident two days agoo argh candies!!
Heeheee malu deh ah.
I feel like writing poem again. Four by four. Hhh


Hide and seek
OMG someone slap me

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Proudest achievement

I spent my precious night doing countless number of Amaths, revised through my Physics because she said she's going to test me and check my works. Finally i've done them and i felt so proud its like achievement okay. Imagine, 50 questions of Amaths from Simultaneous right up to Trigonometry. I almost died doing all of them but let's be proud of me people, i can't do three out of them. Heehee. :D

But sad to say, she didn't even check on them. Didn't even take a look? SHe didn't test me on Plysics too while i revised like mad. :@ i felt so cheated. She gave me another tons of work and i bet, its going to be unchecked too. Next lesson is tomorrow and i have less than 24 hours to do it.

I wish i had you to help me, like last time.
Ahh, forget it.

Yesterday, something happened. Not long. About few seconds. But it stays in my mind and i can't erase it. Idk why i keep thinking about it. If i tell Junia about this she's going to scream at me. Idc i'm telling her hehe i cant keep this myself. Ahahah candies forget it

Dua belas pendar bintang

Omg i think i lost my sing number sim card. Ah hate it i have to buy new number :(
I miss Monica Johan. D:
I miss Noviana too :(

I forget how he looks like. Hehehehehehe.

Went to watch Michael Clayton. Idk what the hell it was. I slept through it all. -.- i watched the first 10 minutes and the last 15 minutes of of two hours. Hahaha i hate that person who sat behind me :@

I'm reading this novel, Jejak Kupu-Kupu by Agnes Jessica its freaking nice omg hehe you're online :D yay yay yay okay i gtg hit the toilet ouch heh

a little bit longer

Hey stranger.

I just had the most creepy morning today. Omigosh. I feel like dying. Uhhhhhhhh anita's abandoning me i feel so sad. Y'know what i'm going to rob my neighbour's house huehhehe nobody's gonna know that its me. *-* Idk i wanted to blog about sth but i forget. Eh? I just ate two (balls?) of kiwi the cute and my stomach is aching hueeeeeeek,

Junia asked me to suggest a cat's name and i said, "Nama dia aja!" I mean, just use his name, okay. That'd be the best for her cat. Oh and Jun said his name isn't cute enough for her cat. Wow means cat deserves better name :D omg you, i'm kidding okay. No offense. But who cares? Naming a cat identical to yours is nothing compared to what you've done? Break a leg.

Can anyone tell me anyhow to change livejournal's url? I can't seem to find the thing. Hue. Melissa Tan Hui Chi where are you i haven't been talking to you for ages imy. Well, my phone's not ringing at all and i'm still waiting omg. Anita is mia. & idk.

That's why i want Jun to be back, immediately. I miss her. :( so badly. &&& strangely, i forget how he looks like, eh pretty amazing i'm not joking i've forgotten. Relax, i'm still trying. And :D:D:D i'm in love with Coke i know its lamee but i really is, i mean am.

Went tuition over at Sherly's and you know i'm kinda loaded with homeworks okay if you pile it together w/ my chinese homework it'd be disaster. I have to complete it today or else i can jolly well dedicate my Sunday for HW. How great. I mean yes, i told my teacher i want homework, but i don't expect that much y'know!! But i can't complain. So i'll keep my mouth, i mean my lips, sealed. Set. I miss tree boy. Dione do you miss tree boy?

This saying is really true; You'll only realise that person is someone, when he/she is gone.
BUT I DON'T MEAN TREE BOY. I mean, its okay. Where's mom i need $$. Talk about rupiah, its really heart wrenching. The currency grew at almost 50% wth the world's upside down. The economy crisis. Everybody's affected.

Now its 4:01. Four oh one. Haha wth. Yes i needa do something. Someone's bday is coming up.

(;

Debu bintang

Chickens i'm using my brother's N81 and it kinda sucks actually cz there's no songs at all and i can't ber narsis ria cz no memory card and my camera is w/ Mom. She wanted to print the thailand photos oh yeayeayea btw i haven't upload thailand photos yea :/

Hehe ytd met Mon and we talked alot (ahem) mostly about (ahem) yeah so i think she knows (what) la! And her mom too! I mean and her mom was there as well. Huehehe :D she promised me something that was really entertaining; Its to (tonjok anu-nya) hehe :D

Started tuition ytd and it was really tiring. But i can't complain. I mean that's how i wanted it to be right. & i'm loaded w/ homework, actually i came online for one purpose but i guess its proven now so i think again, i can go offline liaozz but i think again, better wait again heheh. You won't get what i mean.

Why is my phone not ringing i'm waiting yooooooooo. Wth its getting on my nerves bcz its not ringing. Waleowwww i'm still waiting.

Y'know what i was planning to post a really long post but my feeling is indescribable now so i think i shall stop here now. I mean today. WoW today's 21st which means, OMIGOD haha it means someone's bday. Shit. I think i better wish her now :P

Don't you think i think too much today? Count how many think-s.
OMIGOD he's online :D

Hey.

Argh i just wanted to blog but i think sthis coming out of my butt hahahahahahaha i have to hit the toilet NOW bye

there's nothing you could do

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy heheheh
Went to Sun w/ Sherly and we had like great time laughing and screaming in A&W omggg haha it's been long since this crazy moment thingy. &&& she's coming tmr again and we're gna hit the theatre room and just hope Mom won't kill me k. Haha i haven't been to theatre room for years and i miss the smell. :)

Okay so yeah heheh thanks guys for the support ily guys. Thank God i still have my friends to count on. Keep holding on. Whatever meant to be will work out perfectly. Let me rant about him one last time.

You know, there're alot of things i want to share w/ him. So many. I've so many things on my mind that need his opinion. Too many. He used to give me solutions to my problem, and he's always my listening ear, or rather reading eyes. I used to tell him many things that bother me. Some things that i don't usually tell anyone else. Now that i'm faced to something, idk who to talk to. I felt comfortable talking to him. But now, i dont think so. There's no need to be so harsh, you know. I have feeling, if you haven't realise.

Argh argh argh argh candies what are you doing go away hush hush hush/

a friend like you always makes it easy

Heyyyyy peopleeee :D

I've got a lot thing i have to do. But whatever happens, i know i've got you.
Haha those lines are familiar right. Yessss

Do you know that, trust is priceless? It is something that once you let go, you'll rarely get it back. Once someone has lost the trust in you, it'd be hard for them to trust you, no matter what you do to make it up. Trust, is something you have to possess because trust, is something that you'll bring you far. I mean, what's the point of doing things, if people no longer trust you.

You've broke the trust i had in you. I thought i could trust you.

Up to you :)

Hey you can choose not to read this post.

___________________________________________________________________

I'm not forgetting everything, erasing my previous posts about him, or deleting memories that i had w/ him. No matter what, he has been part of my life, once. He brought me excitement, curiousity, butterflies (as in the stomach butterflies), bravery and also disappointment, sadness, uncertainty, sacrifices and a lot more. So, as i said, life is short, there's no time to turn back.

I used to wonder. Can time just slow down abit, or can we have the speed of time under our control? But i realise, that's a childish thought. Time will never slow down, and the moment it passed, it will never come back. So i think, why look back? The pasts may be beautiful, but i can work for an even more beautiful future.

I'm an idiot if i continue sitting here, and as usual, scrolling up and down, waiting for something which is as almost impossible as a miracle to happen. But i'm more idiotic, if i just say it but never try to do it. Its always easier said than done. I'm going to show myself, that i can do it.

I was thinking, what shall i do to make things clearer, how to phrase my words, how to response to everything he answer? But i guess its unnecessary now. I mean, everything is so obvious. He made it so clear, but i was too afraid to admit. I'm scared of the reality, that comes harshly, without giving me space to breath.

But Sherly, somehow opened my eyes. With simple phrase and acceptable reason, she made me think; think of these matter thoroughly. How i wasted my tears crying for unnecessary reasons, How i wasted my energy thinking of every single possibilities. Its crazy. It has never crossed my mind, that i can be so, so controlled. Its freakish.

I should've moved on since a few months back. I should've realised the outcome. I should've stopped trying. I should've stop disgracing myself in front of everything. I should've not known him at all. I told myself that, but someone said; Its no longer necessary. All your regrets. They already happened. I'd rather you work out something to get over it than crying over spilled milk. Its true.

I have to stop torturing myself. I can't blame him because he has done nothing. I think too much. He's not wrong. He did what he thought was right. Its me. I am childish. Yes, you're right. I shouldn't got mad when you said that, because i really am. c h i l d i s h

But well, i shall thank him too. W/o him, i may have not grow up yet. I may have not reviewed so much, and maybe my mind isn't this wide. Idk how to intepret wide, but, just wide okay. He made me smile, felt touched and everything and i thanked him for that. And each time i cried for him, idk if its true, but i felt stronger. I got the thought that; he's always like that, its nothing.

Agnes said i changed since i knew him. Haha obviously. He brought such a huge impact in my life. In a millisecond, he can made the sad Candies laughing like mad. And the reverse is true. I may lose one 'topic' w/ my friends to talk about, but let's look at the bright side, he will sneeze lesser Haha. Right.

I'm not somebody else. I will try my best get over this soon and be normal again. And that one last cry shall be remain entitled as my one last cry. :)

akhir segalanya

Thanks for everything and i understand now.
I'm moving on.
Goodbye.

valerieeee

Quek Huei Min, if you read this, i want to ask you,
Why is your blog private and i can't view?
Why i am not your friend in friendster!!

Haiyo, i wanted to comment you and tell you something really impt and you're not online also! How come!! Heh if you read this, tell me why okay i miss you. :D

Lu tuh kenapa sih? Kok bisanya cuma buat gw nangissss aja. Ngak puas apa bikin gw sedih trus? Buang jauh jauh tuh gengsi! Lu pikir keren gitu yah ngegede2in gengsi! Lu emang brengsek tau ngak, gw nga tau mau bilang apa lagi. Kurang ajar bener.

Gw merasa kek orang bego bnran. Nungguin lu nga jelas gitu, gw seharusnya bisa senang2 skrg, tp gara2 lu yg sok gengsi, gw jadi kek gini. Ah gw bener2 kecewa sama lu. Kenapa lu cuma bisa nya buat gw nangis aja. Pikir aja, kapan terakhir kl lu buat gw ketawa. Kenapa sih cowok itu nyebelinnnnnnnn bgt. Kenapa sih cowok itu cuma buat sengsara doank. Gw nga habis pikir, kok bisa gw jd setengah gila gara2 lu. Pasti lu bangga kan, gw jadi kek gini gara2 lu.

Gila bener bener gila gw. Marah marah nga jelas kek gini, pdhl lu nga ngapa2in. Gmn mau ngapa2in, ngomong aja ngak. Gila sebel gw. Kapan sihhhhhhhh lu ngomong nya. Ya ampun kok bisa sih gw jd kek gini gara2 lu. Gw bingung.

Where you are is where i want to be at.

I miss you really deeply and terribly.

Gw males nge-blog. Tau td nga usah online. Bikin gw tambah sengsara aja. Ya ampun gw hampir nangis lagi. Tapi kan gw uda janji kalo gw nga bakal nangis, jd gw nga akan nangis. Bentar telepon. Aduh kok ada lagi. Ya ampun Mami uda ngurus les gw. Gw nga mau les. Gw males. Aduhhhhh kok smua nya jd kek gini sih. Gw kok perasaan nya aneh gini. Kan kan kan jd pengen nangis. Oliv mana pengen curhat :(

Gw mau bljr nyetirrrrrrrrrrr. Kok ngak bolehhhhh padahal dulu kan uda pernahhhhhhhhhh. yahhhh bebek ah. Gw sedih abiss gilaaa nga ada yg mau ngomong sm gw lg. Dia masih nyuekin gw. Ya ampun jadi org gengsi amit sih. Orang gengsi kuburannya sempit lho. Eh, kok gw jd ngawur. Beneran deh, bntr lg gw pasti uda lompat gedung. Mau ngapa2in yo males, disuruh les, lebih males lagi. gw mau klr, tp nga ada yg ngajak, gw jg nga tau mau ngajak siapa. Pada les smua. Gila gw nga tahan. Tuh kan nangis jg akhirnya. Tp gpp lah kl bkn krn dia. Tp ada sih sedikit krn dia.

Ya tuhannnnnnnnn gw bisa gila bnrannnn kl trus2an kek giniiiiiiiii

Omg can you just shut up do you have any idea how irritating and distracting you are and you know clearly i am not in my best mood i'm freaking pissed you still pretend nothing happen wth i feel like slapping you if only we are not parted by wide sea and idk how many miles away but erghhhhhhhhhhhhhhnh shut up fomgsgb sdgkvjsrbg i wanna seal you freaking big, thick, deformed mouth you knowwww argh argh arghhh can you just disappear dont distract me i'm fucked up enough plis you're like a lianas trying to get a life from others hace i told you how much i hate you i'm sick of you i hate entertaining your meaningless question. omg please just disappear from my life and never come back again you get what i mean?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think i have to say more. You should know that i'm referring to you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOVIANA MONA CHANDRA!!!

haha nov, honoured nga?
gw baru blk dr thai, gw bela2 in online buat ngucapin loe, tp loe
nga online
hehehe moga2 makin cantik yah neng, makasih atas segalanya selama 2 tahun
ini.
gilaa, cepet yah, uda dua tahun. hehe gw sayang sm lu. hehe moga2 lu do
well yah.

Okay hi people i'm back.
I'm loaded with shopping stuffs.
I'm too lazy to blog i'm sad i hope i stay in thailand and be a thai.
You know hheheheh i saw lacro hehehehehehe after one year hehehehehe
okay i'm sad now idk what happen :(

One last cry

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else

Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were gone
I give my best to you
Nothing for me to do

But have one last cry
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my life this time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry, cry

I was here, you were there
I guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me

Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do

But have one last cry
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my life this time
Been living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
'Cause my life goes on and on and on and on

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I have my one last cry
One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind
For the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down to my last cry


I swear this is going to be my one last cry. :)

Photo.

I will make this a quick one. Just some photos i found :D
I shall go bathe while waiting for it tp upload. I'm smelly

This is my dancing brother i forget to rotate gomenasai

I randomly took this pic two years ago haha

They are vain okay. Wth

Omigod i can't resist wanna pinch him

I still rmb this one. He came back from school, head straight to my room, asked for something i forget what, i said i take photo of him, then i give him. Then tada.

Apparently blogger is quite efficient today so yeah its fast wow amazing. I take only 5mins 31 seconds to blog. Okay now maybe more. Going to 6 minutes. Ah crap

Save it for a two

Hey pancake.

I'm supposed to get ready for my flight which is in like, 5 hours' time. I really don't feel like going back. I'm serious i can't think of anything exciting that awaits me there, well, except for pinching my cute brother the first time i see him. That's only the first time. I'll probably get irritated soon enough. Ah i don't know i'm so weird.

Still rmb when i was sec 1, i counted down the number of days to my departure. Even the first day of my arrival in Sg, i already started to count down. Seemed very excited to go back. Hehe maybe i know what's the reason but still, see the difference now :(

I don't feel like going back. Gosh, i've typed and grumbled that statement for million times. It was raining when i was walking halfway then i had to take cab freakish the cab fared like crazy. Hahaha tell you sth just now when i was waiting for cab, then there's this man, standing so close to me that his shoulder almost touched mine. Ee he's gross, sweaty and all. Haha i was clueless and you know what i did in the end? I farted damn loud and damn smelly HAHAHAHA the next moment he inhaled he walked away from me. I was laughing so loud inside. RASAIN!

Phew i'll probably blog again later when i'm inside the boarding room. I rmb there's internet connection there ;D at least i can maybe talk to pepper abit. Hehehe. Oh i haven't tell you where i am now. I'm in the toilet. My stomach had a riot and we had to go back to school so that i could shit. And i shit in school four times i kept running in and out of the toilet haizz tiring.

Just now i came home my stomach ached again i might as well stay here in case i need to shit again. Hehe i'm really sleeping now i'm typing with one finger kay so you can imagine how slow it is huh. Can i go back probably one week later? No, Mom will kill me. She la, book the ticket to thailand w/o asking me. Oh i need to show you sth. Please dont laugh hor!

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TADA!

Yawn.

Yoyozz heheh mandy just left like, half an hour ago? Yea luckily nobody found out :D see, i'm really sneaky. I think i should be rewarded.

I haven't bathe
I haven't brush my teeth
I haven't look through my physics SPA file.
I haven't buy my brother's book (!!)
I haven't tell a single soul that i'm going back
I haven't got a chance to see Junia :(
I haven't sleep enough

I can't think of anything else. Ugh bet this holiday is going to be plain boring. Maybe because all my friends are having exams there and won't be able to accompany me. Junia is still in Melbourne i wna slap her why not come back earlier!! I miss her like hell don't know how many years never see her.

Okay from 5 to 12 i'm going to thailand so hope that it'll be great! :D
AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING DREADFUL IS COMING MY WAY,
tuition tuition tuition tuition tuition
Argh argh argh i hate it. Mom alrd planned the time slots omigod.

I'm going to miss everybody heh mel dione are in viet now so can't see them til next year :(
Come back from thailand, 15 Nov, sherly will come back, then can tuition tgt.
At least not so boring. Gosh i need to dig out my luggage i think i misplaced sth. uh.
Then probably spend times w/ Anita, alot to catch up on
Why am i planning all these?
Idk. I feel like crying seems so boring omg i'd rather stay here :( i don't want to go back can?

I don't care i'm going out w/ all my friends before their exams yay wait till 16Dec Junia come back then can! Waleow. Sad nvm haha i'm going to ask her one more time.

Do you know the feeling when you haven't brush your teeth and you're dying to? But apparently i cannot brush now because the toilet has been occupied ever since mandy left. Oh holy shit why they take so long/

Hah, you see ah. i'm going to off the light. See if she scream HAHAHA

Catch me if you can

F
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A
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L
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Finally i'm finished packingggggggggggggggggggg yayyyyyyyyyyy haha actually nawt so finish. Almost, kay, almost hehe. I am waiting for mandy the mantou the mrs pig haha but she isn't here yet so probably i'll go down and buy food since i'm sooper hungry dongry oka. Haha i just woke up and i was hallucinating that pepper were here omg i've gone insane haha. Nehmind people i think you should just really go my friendster and grab the Halloween photos cz i'm so pissed with blogger cannot upload okay hoh i think i told you alrd right so yeah.

You know what? I need a new blogskin

He lives in the heart of Singapura

I'm waiting for mandy and i was blog hopping i realise my eyes are half-closed i'm really sleepy i woke up at 8 in the morning this is my whole life time record i wake up that early on sunday haha funny right i always wake up late do you realise i haven't type a single full stop means if i'm talking i am not breathing means i'll probably be dead by now omg what am i doing i think i should really stop this before my eyes are really closed i'm going to put a really long dot this post deserves it huh heh
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hehe enough of full stop right. Now what. I'm tired i haven't pack i'm supposed to pack now y'know. Pepper is idk where probably church. Idk la la la wait i check sth first. heheh yes can can. WHOOO i have spa tmr idk why i'm so happy but yeah haha wth okay i'll blog again later. I'm going to thailand but funnily i don't feel excited. But i don't want to stay in Sg also. Neither in Medan. HAHAHA so where do i want to be at? Idk, probably Mars. Or, hehe you know la.

I think i should stop crapping here and start packing right right right. Mandy takes forever y'know. And i'm waiting. Haa i hate waiting

Roll on the floor

You know what, i just laughed so loud, i think the whole building can hear me HAHAHAHA omggg i got it now haha.

Okay tell you why. Ytd arwin showed me this video, and he said it was funny. I watched it for like, ten times, i still don't know why he laughed, but i laughed though, cz the people laughing sounded like a choir laughing Haha but i knew it wasn't the reason he laughed. So i randomly searching and i found the link so i just watched and now i know why. Hahahaha omg actually the scene alone isn't funny i'm actually imagining sth extra heheheh but it turns out reallyyyyyyyyy funny HAHAHAHA.

Hahahaha i still can't stop laughing my brain keeps repeating that scene omg damn it. You know what, i just drank a glass of milo and hello its 1AM in the morning. Maybe my stomach will riot tmr. Haha omg cheeky.

Chicken backside

I never knew i'll catch on this love bug again

Hey peeps i haven't blog today o.o

Yeahhhhh hehehe its almost erm, sunday now.
I'm being very honest here, i don't feel like packing, i don't feel like going back i'm serious.

Huh but hehe i'm talking to Marco my cute brother and i suddenly feel like going back so much.

Okay so yeah have i told you about ytd's halloween party? Haha picture will be up soon k i'm really lazy but if you want, its on my friendster now hehehe.

http://www.friendster.com/viewphotos.php?a=305416459&uid=20742460

Damn it i feel like packing now hehe k i will pack.

Oh yeah i went out and watched Lakeview Terrace. Its, weird and complicated. Haha i don't even understand after i stepped out of the theatre Haha kay so yeah. I don't know what else to rant. Oh i miss pepper.

its my brother aint he cuteeeeeee hehe

Radios in heaven. Im playing my song in the radio

Hello pumpkin,

I'm back from scanning. It was really scary and troublesome -.-
I don't know the doctor kept talking to me in biological term and she asked me if i take Bio for so many times omg. Hahaha nvm she's cute. I have to go for the thing next year. She said its okay cz there isn't any dangerous sign heheh i'm quite relieved eh.

Okay i need to get ready to go for Halloween party w/ 3e2 haha yay. I'm not feeling so well. I'm spinning. I mean my head. Idk i don't feel well and i was late just now, i came to school @ around 1015 heheh. Yea whatev today is the last day of block timetable i'm so happy. I feel like vomitting yuck. I can feel the fluid at the back of my mouth. Ugh i painted my nails just then i realised i have physics spa on monday so i have to erase it (!!) irritating. Haha the (!!) doesn't mean *overly excited* but *overly pissed* haha nvm you won't get it.

You know what. I kinda miss talking to backside. :( Idk what happen also. Goodluck for your remaining paper k.

I haven't bathe idk if i should bathe, okay obviously i have to but i don't feel like dressing up can i dont dress up. Ugh minnie mouse, what the heck candies! shit la want to change also cant!

Hehehehehehheheheehheeheheh i feel so happy yeh and they still haven't update me about the night safari thingy so i don't think its still up. Mygod i need to sleep. Ah no time alrd :( weh weh weh okay i'm really going now

TGIFTomorrow haha

Arggghhhhhhhhhh my head doesn't want to stop spinning until i have to talk to my head. from screaming out til i did heart-to-heart talk. i know its funny talk to my brain with my heart but can't help it i hope my brain understands but it doesn't seem to give me any reaction so haha i think only medicine can talk to my brain gahhhhhh.

I don't want to go school tmrrrrrrr. :( i'm so sick of lessons lessons and lessons. I need a breakkkk. Even hols, my mom alrd planned a full tuition timetable for me omg i feel like crying. When can i have like really time that is called HOLIDAY hehhh we are not robots okay and there's still this stupid choir camp to organise thou i'm not going. mel and i have to look for choir tee vendors WTHHHHHH :S

and you know what, i just realise i've got tons of homework not done oh thanks huh history i have to do cz haridass had been staring at me last lessons ee i don't like it. Andd oh i've to read through physics SPA file cz apparently my spa is way before the rest. this monday. okaayyyy it suckssssssssss.

Hahaha i think this post is all about complains. I better go do my hws before i lost my interest. Heh okay i'm never interested but yeah okay hoho i shall really catch up.

And appointment tmr. I'm so scared. They are going to do the scanning. :( i'm so scared i'm so scared i'm so scared i'm so scared. I'm so scared i can't think of any other word except, I'm so scareddddddddd. I think i don't want to go. Damnit i don't want. :(:(:(:(:(:( pray for me people.

Quek said no pepper talking until tmr 4.00pm. Haha quek, i'm typing about pepper so its not counted kay. I don't want to talk about him anyway. Hehehehe okay huh baibai.

yg slaluku nanti

:( another friend leaving me. Gosh, what's up with everything. I've had enough. I'm not ready to lose my friends. Uh why. Okay i know people have to move on in life, but why altogether? Ben's leaving for idk where. I didn't even bother to ask. Wth why so suddenly? ARGH ARGH ARGH.

I'm so pissed. No, i'm so sad. Whatever. I told ya, i gotta be strong! QIANG!

Why is it so hard to fall asleep? I hate insomnia. Wth i have been rolling on my bed for 1hour30minutes but i still can't fall asleep. I have been lacking of sleep nowadays. Please please i want to sleep i don't want panda eyes okayy.

Pray for me people, will you?

HEHE

私は強いよ！
Je suis fort!
我很坚强!
Ik ben sterk!
Ich bin stark!
내가 강한 오전!
Saya kuat!
Io sono forte!
Sunt puternic!
أنا قوي!
Yo soy fuerte!
Tôi mạnh mẽ!
Ja sam jak!
Είμαι ισχυρή!
I am strong!

HEY this is in 15 languages so i guess you're pretty much convinced right? Yeah i'ma strong girl.

Fifteen

Shit shit shit peopleeeeee. I had appointment today with the doctor @5pm but i didn't go shit how. And i still don't know when will the surgery be. I'm so scared here they write down 7/11/08 but i'll be in thailand that day so idk how. Remind me to give them a call tmr kkkkkk.



Hi i'm confused. I'm really confused. WOAHHHHHHHHHHH today's tiring. Bon Voyage Olivvvvv see you next year :D



I don't know what else to rant so yeah i better go bathe now.

hello i'm candies archuleta

HEYYYYAAHOOHOOIIIIIIII
I finally can smile. Thanks guys.

Okay so watched HSM3 with Agnes, Brenda, Chloe, Frerry, Kelvin and Neng Jie. Then you know the first scene was Zac's face omgggggggg hahahaha so cuteee i love his fringe. Bouncy bouncy. Hehheh i think only Agnes understands this so yeah nvm.
Tell you, they were so loving i told brenda, urm nothing haha. Yeah so like that.

Then after movie went to meet HLC peopleeeeee heehhheehhe. The usuals la. Alex, Eric, Nadya, Olivia, and William. Then you knowww haha we watched the coffin. haha hear someone screamed the whole time its me haha. William kept nudging me to silent me but to no avail i couldn't stop screaming. Finally i gave up trying to watch horror movie, i listened to songs and slept awhile. Omg told you my heart cannot take it. They said it wasn't scary at all but i don't know why i'm so scaredddddddd. I could actually see Olivia covering her ears when i screamed so loud everyone was laughing.

Listen to the thunder. Okay there's no thunder here but i'm listening to thunder now. Wth boys like girls la. Now crush. You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized. Okay get over with it.

After movie, went to...okay so there were alil arguement over eating place. Finally we settled wating @ Fish&Co. They were bunch of people celebrating bday. I really think i should've celebrated mine there. Yeah they kept talking about nothing but Ghosts. Wth scared the hell outta me. Ohoh maybe we're going to night safari yay after 3e2 chalet. Yay haha i love them. :D they made me smile, even laughed.

I was telling them maybe we could catch one more movie so i can like break record you know. Heehee but didn't la in the end. I want more outing w/ them! Haha veryyyyyyy long nvr see them alrd. Ohoooohhh this song's piano very nice i love it omgomg so nice. So talented.

Enough of ranting about my day. I received a letter from ICA offering PR. I don't know whether i should take it but aiyah let my parents decide la. Idc. Shit i forget to ask Mom if i can go back during CNY. shit shit remind me tmr okayyyyyy. Love you.

You can never ask for too much

Hey peoplee i didn't sleep the whole night W.O.W haha i was watching Eiffel..I'm in Love the whole night. Then yeah i'm practically exhausted by now, but i still can't close my eyes.



I did my chem tys alrd :D so proud of myself. And also Amaths! Hehe did some physics ytd. Then i've studied Geog the coast also. Omgomg feel so gooooooooood :D But you know, i still don't understand the Periodic Table. -.-



Then what else... OHOHOH HAHAHA YAY QUEK AND MEL IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha quek texted me at 2am in the morning!

Without you i'll be miserable at best

I am eating tom yam cup noodle heehee. I'm still scrolling up and down. I think i should get paid for that cz it feels like a job. Huh. We both know that you're not that strong. Wth i feel damn bored i'm talking to nobody now. How i wish.. ugh nevermind.

I forced myself to listen to that song even though i hate it just because its the song you like.

I think i found this bulletin in friendster okay i'm going to paste this

1. What's your name? Candies
2. Fav food? ben and jerry
3. height? 2 meter
4. hobby? sleep
5. are you having a problem? yes i think
6. gf/bf? nope
7. where is your gf/bf schooling? i say i don't have
8. pretty/handsome? look like shit okay
9. Does he/she have to be rich? YESYESYES haha no la
10. accept he/she for who he/she is? i'm not getting married so whatever
11. which one do you choose; good-looking but cruel or bad-looking but nice?
-cuma org munafik yg bakal jwb pertanyaan ini
12. what grade are you at? sec 3
13. have you ever done something wrong to your friend? i guess so.
14. what school are you in? beatty
15. happy there? heh idk
16. many friends? yeah
17. write down two of your friends' name. candies and sutanto
18. any problem in school? yes, urm no.
19. your best gf? many.
20. love them? obviously
21.any of them was your gf? hello i'm not a lesbian
22. anything to say? heh? i love you. haha
23. your best bf? haha don't have
24. love them? NOPE haha
25. any of them was your bf? nope
26. which one is the best? huh. idk haha but you know who's in my mind right
27. anything to say? heh. i hate you haha
28. crush? do you have crush? YESYESYESYES haha wth
29. good-looking? OBVIOUSSSSSLYYYYYYYYY
30. nice? SOMETIMES ONLY
31. why him/her? CAUSE ITS HIM HAHAH
32. since when? 118 days ago. haha
33. any of your friends know him/her? HAHAHA MOSTLYYYY
34. like to steal glances? don't tell me you can read my mind
35. what do you think about this bulletin? retarded.
36. make a wish. urm okay
37. don't type out. haha i won't
38. what's your wish? WHATTHEHELL
39. hope your wish come true. thanks
40. good luck. haha weirdddd.

okaayyy this thing is really just to kill time but my fingers are numb now. Oh don't remind me. I'm so sad. Its the tenth day okay. wth byebye hey jun i miss you

13.10.2008.

I realised i forgot to upload it so haha this is all i've got. One picture is missing.

Okay, you've got to see this. T.T


CANDIES (~) Over the edge just breathless says (11:21 PM):
gw td tidur sampe jam 10:50
Fernando says (11:21 PM):
haha
CANDIES (~) Over the edge just breathless says (11:22 PM):
gila gw babi bgt
CANDIES (~) Over the edge just breathless says (11:22 PM):
gw tidur2 trus akhir2 ini
CANDIES (~) Over the edge just breathless says (11:22 PM):
skrg aja masih ngantuk
CANDIES (~) Over the edge just breathless says (11:22 PM):
...
Fernando says (11:22 PM):
lu baru sdr kalo lu itu babi?
CANDIES (~) Over the edge just breathless says (11:23 PM):
FRERRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Wth can anyone slap him please. Oh wait i haven't translate.

Candies : I slept til 10:50
Fernando jadi2an : Haha
Candies : shit la i'm so pig always sleep i still feel sleepy...
Fernando jadi2an : You just realise that you're a pig?
Candies: *&*^%&^*(&)()

Okay now you can slap. Haha the Amaths sucker. Suck even more in consoling people. Wth its not the right way okay you can make some depressed jump down straight away. Don't ever console people you. suckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I wonder how the Avenged Sevenfold's concert is going. Or has it finished? I dont know don't want to think of it i very sad. Okay i'm going to study Olvl is coming in 360 days love you people.
Btw i'm still hungry anyone care to supply me food.

I'm surprised i can make it without you